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Correspondence from Aleister Crowley to Lorimer Hammond
[Draft]
Apr 1 [1924] [Draft letter dictated by Crowley to Leah Hirsig]
Hammond
I have been so ill that I cannot possibly count the days since I saw you but it is certainly far more than the 2 or 3 assigned by yourself for the writing up of the notes which you took. I have tried on several occasions to get into communication with you, entirely without effect. I should have supposed you sick but no such indication has been afforded me.
I want you to forgive the hysteria of a very distressed child pulling laboriously thru a very long illness but your silence has really caused me a very great deal of worry in my exhausted nervous state. I am sure you do not at all realize how severe are the ordeals thru which I have been passing for if you had you would certainly have relieved my anxiety if only by a brief message explaining the delay. Let me confess too that I have been and am in the most pressing need of getting into harness again as soon as possible and I have great faith in your ability and willingness to do anything within your convenience to get something going.
Once again forgive the impatience of a sufferer but you know well enough how even the strongest minds tend to lose their grip under the stress of week after week of impotent solitude. One loses one's sense of proportion; one pictures imminent calamities which either do not happen at all or may hang fine, for an indefinite period.
All the same, life is life, I am no better than I am and I hope you will see your way to finding a spare 1/2 hour as early as possible to discuss various points.
I am now being divinely nursed, making due allowance for the wretched [illegible] conditions. My mind is clearer and calmer than it has been for months and I hope even to be able to get out for an hour this evening.
Will you telephone to make an appointment, all times are equally convenient to me, soon as you get this note?
93 93/93
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