Correspondence from Wilfred Talbot Smith to Katherine Talbot

 

[EXTRACT]

     

 

[23 April 1928]

 

 

First and foremost then let me say, I have no intention of giving up my connection with the AA, A.C. or occultism in general. It is my intention to go as far as I can, and it can't help but have first consideration over everything else in life. That is how it appears to me now. What it may lead me into I, of course, can not say but I shall endeavour to follow it to the end through thick and thin.

     

But also in the more mundane things of life I feel that I have an unbounded right to follow out what I consider proper for me to do and do not think anyone has the right to dictate my course of action. I shall have to pay for the mistakes I make, and I am pretty well bound to make some, for every one does, but I have always tried to do what I thought right and so far I have been the cause of another's pain it was certainly not intentional. . . .

     

There is no reason why we could not have a happy home but you would have to change your point of view at several angels, and get rid of your pronounced hatred of A.C. which is all fancy for you practically know nothing about him at all. . . .

     

Yes I feel we could be perfectly wonderful friends. But just now knowing me as you do, unless you make a change in yourself, I can't see you joining me prepared to take me just as you find me. It is not worth while going through another N[orth] Van[couver] experiences.

     

Don't by the way imagine I have some interest in some other female. Not whatever at all, truly. But I am not prepared to promise I never will have. I might have an interest that in no way would supplant you and wish to spend an evening in her company but you would not see that such might be perfectly impersonal. Right now with J. Wolfe [Jane Wolfe] there is no personal attraction but I can spend many hours in conversation as I would with a man and such conversations are impossible with a 3rd party.

     

Already I suppose you have made up your mind that you dislike her even as A.C.

     

Well I have written much more than I intended and perhaps it would have been better first to have said I am just going to keep on keeping on and left you to make your own mind up as to whether you would stand the racket if you joined me.

 

 

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