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Correspondence from Aleister Crowley to Gerald Yorke
die
[Undated: mid January 1932?]
C∴[are] F∴[rater]
93.
Various [illegible] of yours and £20 to hand.
I wait till I see Dennes' [Crowley's attorney] letter before I discuss settlement further. But I never wrote of "[illegible]. That is absurd. But I think any trust has to be determined by an agreement of all the beneficiaries. Obviously, the Trustees have no power to go outside the terms of their duty. I always knew all this, [illegible] Your latest is more sensible. There is no way of providing for her [Maria de Miramar] legally. I though the idea was that she wanted freedom as such. [illegible], I can get the divorce; and all I wanted was to facilitate the matter. If she did so, it would predispose me to help her so far as possible
The woman who's supposed to be putting RM 30,000 into Mortaldello is supposed to be coming here next week. And a nice position we are in to negotiate. Shall we have enough money to go to a cafe? Or—by that time—even have a roof over our heads.
Germer [Karl Germer]. Bill [Bertha Busch] is still utterly prostrate at this last attack. Just picked herself up enough to go to the lawyer. You'll get documents in a day or two. You'll see that I can't advise her to let things slide.: he would simply do some more dirt. Besides, the only choice for him is to get a rude enough jolt to open his eyes to reality. When you see the letter you will understand. I heartily agree about Cora [Cora Germer]; but she too needs her eyes opened. And we can only help her by making me a real boom. I should like to hand her $20,000 at least; and there is no other possible way of providing the money. Please note that I am doing nothing myself in this matter; but he has been warned several times to leave my friends alone; and I'm not sorry if he has a lesson.
Here comes in once again your responsibility. You don't seem to realize that the first duty of leadership, the first test of the right to lead, is to expose oneself fearlessly. This is the only reason that I have for urging you to cut the painter, and come in with us for life or death. You have no conception of the moral force which such decision gives. It has been the constant formula in my own career; to be ready at any moment to risk everything for the point at issue, however small that point may seem, even to myself. And if you don't do it, how easy it is for any demon to turn you away from the K[nowledge] and C[onversation] of the H[oly] G[uardian] A[ngel]. I think Orientals abuse this formula by making it obligatory on all aspirants, and treating it as a virtue in itself. I have never advised its use; I have rather discouraged various rich men, in the past. But in those cases there was no question of the succession to the Outer Headship. Of course, the idea of sacrifice as a virtue is foreign to the formula; it is, on the contrary, parallel to the act of a general who throws away an army to carry a position. It is such acts of decision that form character. You are getting much better than before your Sahara and Welsh stunts; but when you are really free you will be able to go to people like Lloyd with real authority, just because he would then have no answer. I feel sure that the Gods (or Masters, or whatever you like to call them) are purposely crabbing my plans in order to force you into a definite choice which will make or break you as a Magician.
Nothing matters much to me personally any more, though I should of course like to do my bit in the big Magical scrap which is so near: it's you They're after! Well enough of this.
93 93/93
F∴[raternal]ly
666.
P.S. Yours just in. Will answer over week end. 666.
Dear boy
Thanks for your letter—and your syrup—fool as I am, if some one right—I should have known that, this [illegible] is not sincere—Now I can not help [illegible] is taking its [illegible]—that [illegible].
The 20 dollars have arrived and 50 are already spend on small bills I do not know what will happen as we have not payed the rent for January—and had allready a solicitors letter to ask —I do not think we have failed—but for [illegible] money—every 50 pfenning I have to keep for food.
I do not want to interfere between A.C. and you but I can not see your point— [illegible] can provide for any body if he has nothing [illegible]. She should have stayed and keep for him, as any decent woman would.
Love your
Mother Bill [Bertha Busch]
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[Wednesday]