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Correspondence from Bertha Busch to Karl Germer
[EXTRACT]
[Langham Hotel London]
[6 December 1932]
I have received your letter. It took a while for you to recognize me, and what's more, you forced me despite my poverty to throw out 150 Marks. You say that it was about the cause. If it's about the cause then one must at least be loyal to the Master. Who are A.C.'s friends? I am the only one who stands by him, my life is not easy. It is an endless struggle—not just for the work, but because I have to assert myself. My position is difficult—but if I leave A.C. in the lurch then he has no one else. There is Gerald Yorke—good intentions—but when it comes down to it he is a big coward. Regardie [Israel Regardie]—a great hanger-on—but if one demands even the simplest thing of him he lets you down. Deborah Hogg—very enthusiastic, but tries to undo everything around A.C. and myself. I sit there and smile. I know better what lies behind the mask of friendship. Many other good friends are there, but I have the feeling that no one is there who would stand by him in need. If I could believe what it says in the Bible I would have to say that Jesus had more loyal friends than A.C.
I don't see him as a god—but as a human being there is none better. He works hard. He is always uniformly nice to me whatever cares he has and I would have to be the worst kind of person if I too were to abandon him.
You say I have learnt a lot—the only thing I have learnt is that most people are false. Loyalty is something I learnt as a child, it's in my peasant blood.
I had four difficult weeks in Berlin. I felt like a deer hunted by a pack of hounds. Everything was against us and his life's work was almost destroyed—but in the end I won. Only I am very worried that I won't be able to keep my word to Dr. Feld. I owe him 160 Marks and have to pay it back as quickly as possible—I have no idea how. I am looking for an apartment. A.C. needs a home where he can rest and eat. When I have arranged that again I hope that his work is also not in vain. I hope that the libel actions go through—that's the doorway to success—If it weren't for these eternal money worries and he could have a few months to work in peace—then I would have no anxiety. The press won't write against him any more. Gradually people are coming to realize that the stories are impossible. I have been through the most bitter time with him—and I hope that [the] gods will allow me to see success.
Even if an outward separation should be necessary no one can separate us—and I believe A.C. thinks the same way. Write to A.C. cares of Dennes & Co., 22 Chancery Lane. A little encouragement helps a lot.
Best greetings,
your B. Busch
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