Correspondence from Grady McMurtry to Marjorie Fox

May 11, 1942

Foxie,

Old business first. Frankly, Foxie my dear, I doubt if there will be any profits in the publishing of my expressions. Rather, I fear that it will result in money being put into having it published in the hopes that maybe fifty years from now it will be in print and can be "discovered". Work of this nature does not have a wide or best seller appeal and the only hope for its survival seems to be to give it its widest scope of distribution by private printing, without too much hope of immediate reimbursement. Maybe it isn't worth it. If you ever decide to try, tho, I think that the Parsona and Co. will be interested. Also you might remember a certain Louis Goldstone, Jr, at present residing at 269 16th Ave. SF. I would like to have him illustrate it.

And now to new business. After allowing myself two or three days in which to cool off (and to check with a doctor on certain items) I put it up to Claire [Claire Palmer]. It wasn't exactly a pleasant evening. No quarter was asked, none offered. It seems that the story she had fed you was somewhat different that what she dished out to me but in only minor points. She was pregnant 7 weeks (a matter which has been taken care of at her expense and would incidentally, allow her a margin of error(?)) and there was a slight difference in names of correspondents. Or she only named two, rather. After which followed the stock conversation: "You should have married Foxie" Yeah—sure—I know" "She would have made you happy" "Um" "You could have had me on the side and it would have made no difference" "Um—maybe" "Wish you were back on Chester St., I would take and throw you at her" "Yeah—but how was I to know?" "Well, dear, you could hardly expect us to take you off in a corner and tell you" "Um".

And the result thereof: This is quite an interesting psycho-economic problem made even more so by my proximity to it. It involves two concepts of civilization and, as I feel that I have profited greatly by the experience, and I need some one to talk to who doesn't laugh at my ideas, I hope you won't mind my unburdening myself. Basically I am human, oh yes, quite definitely, with many of the foibles thereof. Thus on receipt of your letter of confirmation, I tried my damnedest not to believe as you may have noticed, I was immediately subject to a period of blind, overpowering animal fury. My hereditary conception of possession had been violated and I was burned up, very much so. So I gave myself time to allow this primitive, and occasionally quite useful, obstruction to my mental processes to dissipate itself. Otherwise I would have broken her neck. On coming back to sanity I began to analyse the situation. The two concepts of civilization I was speaking of are: (1) our present set-up; Pseudo-Christian, Capitalistic, ragged individualist, etc, including the institution whereby one woman is considered the property of one man because he pays her feed bill or, even if he doesn't, he must insist that she is because if he doesn't then he becomes a non-entity in his own eyes as well as that of society. (2) Pagan (i.e., of no distinction, includes Christian), Cabalistic, technocratic, rugged individualist, etc, in which, women being independent of men economically, the institution of marriage would be but an anachronism, available but of no practical importance. To this we now add my own views of Free Will (as distinguished from impulse) to apply the foregoing to the present circumstance. Could I believe that Claire was in any way following her true Will in these matters I would have no quarrel with her. I know and she admits that it was impulse—ergo—what to do? From the first mentioned point of view I could not forgive her—I would leave that up to God—I understand he has built up quite a business that way—because to do so would be to say "there, there, dear, it was just an accident" which would be a damned lie. From the second point of view no misdemeanor was created and so the question of forgiveness could not have arisen. So: the only thing to do is to plan on a friendly divorce as soon as convenient and then, when we no longer have the barrier of marriage between us, live our separate lives together if we wish. I have forbidden Claire to see Cy until this comes about or I am eliminated from the scene by either the war or sundry accidents. This may seem a bit harsh but my reason is: were Cy, or the others, of my point of view in these matters, if they understood and appreciated the motives whereby I consider Claire not as my wife but as my mistress and companion, then I would have no objection. However as they do not realize this, and as Claire insists on falsifying the issue by making as assignation a husband-deceiving secret, then I am made to appear the stupid cuckold in all eyes, blind to my wife's infidelity, and, as you say, the fool. I have nothing against Cy as a person, I am sure that Claire was much more at fault than he, but for the above stated reason I could not greet him cordially or allow him to visit Claire here. Therefore the only solution is to remove what started out as a necessity but had grown into a wall of darkness into which it is easy for the unwary and impetuous to stumble and become lost. Perhaps you remember a letter of mine in which I stated that my understanding of Claire was as great as ever? you, being quick on the uptake, probably got my meaning—"understanding" is as your connotation of it.

So far as I know Claire doesn't know that you told me anything. I was as careful as possible to give no specific details whereby she could pin you down by the context of the stories she has passed out to various persons. But then she may quite probably have forgotten whom she told what. Also there is something I don't understand about you. By all the rules I should be in your dog house. In fact I didn't expect to hear from you after a couple of those letters which I ended with a proposition. Instead I find you seem to be as "understanding" a friend as ever. Also it seems that you should be getting rather tired of Claire's using raw sex against you in taking those men she wants. All this I do not understand.

We have just moved into a new place on Vallejo. Claire may have written you about it. I wish you would come up and see it. (1716 Vallejo St., SF) It is a large, roomy basement-studio with fire-place, couches, closets, etc, for $27.50 a month. About 8 blocks from the Fort, so that car fare can be saved if need be. We pay our utilities. It is a place that something can be done with and Claire is having a lovely time being housewifey and bussing around. I don't see too much of it, of course. Right now I am on a 56 hour shift but have a pass due for tonight. Hope you can make it. Don't let the happy inspiration of bringing Cy up, however, as it would only lead to manslaughter. The one way or the other. Claire is puzzling over why you haven't written.

Hope to see you soon.

love

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