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Correspondence from Aleister Crowley to Edward Noel Fitzgerald
March 20 '43 e.v.
Dear Noel.
93.
Yrs. of 17th. No: not a bad memory, but a good one. To remember the details of a trivial matter after 8 years—unless some odd point about it makes it stick—is to show inefficient elimination. My memory selected and retained the "lesson" of the incident: viz: that you had irrational phobias. For all that, please recall the matter to my mind, if only to show that I was unjust. I admit it is all vague; but I thought it was like that. At that time Martha Küntzel's correspondance was suspect to the Gestapo, and I wanted my letters to appear to come from another source. Is that wrong? Now, my lad, you're all astray about the spite. (1) It is the first duty of a Holy Guru to jab the promising Chela whenever he sees an opening. If you were no good I shouldn't bother. (2) You ought ot have sense enough to see that I am very fond of you indeed; isn't it p[lain that my real grievance is that at times I feel that you neglect me? My remarks about your girls were in part subconscious jealousy. (3) I told you it was mostly face ache. Nice of you to take 2 "City of God". Send 10/5 please; by return if you can, as I am still desperately broke—last week I had no meal two days running. And the bloody bank is hanging on to £259 more or less—months it is they have tortured me! Printers sticky too; but I hope you will get your copies this month.
93 93/93,
F∴[raternal]ly,
Aleister.
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