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Correspondence from Kenneth Grant to Steffi Grant
The Ridge Hastings Sussex
26 Ap. 45 E.V.
Cara Soror Ilyarun [illegible],
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Whoopee sweet witchy-witch for
your of
As for your letter—this is of
exceeding interest. When you get the Yî book you will
understand better. Anyway, at about the time of which you
write (i.e. 9.45—Early
I was in a perfect mood for this. I was at the time completely indifferent to the outcome—I had been reading a very concentrated and profound book of 666 beforehand which had thrown my mind very nearly to the summits of a sort of 'active dhyana' if we can so express it.
Something or other prompted me to question the Gods as to our Union—and I forthwith unveiled the sticks and went ahead. I would never had dared to ask the Question had I been in a normal mood—of that I am confident. Had an adverse Hex. appeared I would have been 'thrown seriously out of gear'. When I got the sticks I though to myself 'Ah! now all my problems are solved—but do you know—there are some questions that I dare not ask. I will probably grow out of this. It is clear proof I attach far too much importance to personal and trivial matters. What my mind wants is a really good shock—that would prove how far advanced I really am. Even in things I should have conquered in the first year of my work I find myself still swayed. I have begun to re-assert my original resolve, in words and aloud, daily. I find this helps. Another extremely good exercise is to imagine myself gradually or suddenly deprived of everything. I don't know if you do the 'falling off the earth meditations but as in this, so in the 'depravation of everything' exercise, a real fear (which is overcome by practice) gnaws into one.
With regard to Barbara, darling—your idea is very good but totally impracticable. After all she is not a child—people must not be interfered with. A similar circumstance arose in my 'Holborn' days which I cannot relate here, . . .
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The painting are both grand—why on earth must I send them
back?—(ah! but you told me—I know). The fiery one looks on
the point of veritable explosion. The fruits seem to spring
and bounce, and the dark green sprouting violence seems to
sweep torrentially from the earthy [illegible] in spasms of
frenzy. You must do a head of Pan on a similar fire-laden
background. You must.