|
Correspondence from Marcelo Motta to Karl Germer
Marcelo Ramos Motta P.O. Box 6165, L.S.U. Baton Rouge 3, La.
February 22, 1957
Dear Karl:
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
You may be amazed in receiving with an interval of a few days two letters from me of a completely opposite content. . . . But there it goes.
I have been in a bad shape, and of course the possibility exists that the conclusions that I have NOW (since the last ones, that is! . . .) reached are inspired by Burlingame [Ray Burlingame] himself to fight me off his neck. But I think there is a strong possibility also that I have just finally come to my senses. Once more, I want you to be the arbiter! . . .
In the first place, the first part of the letter I wrote you does not change. I still think that Burlingame did precisely that, and that way, etc. But my reaction has changed.
My thoughts against Burlingame have proved to turn against me. Now, this might mean that his aura is protected against me; but another possibility exists, and that is what I want you to diagnose.
I don't think I can attack Burlingame, because my grievance against him is of a personal nature. The thought came to me while at the opera tonight at the University (the students put on The Tales of Hoffman, of Offenbach, remarkably well, and the whole performance seemed to have stimulated me to quite a degree, and I feel refreshed and had all these thoughts during it).
I vowed in my Oath that I would dedicate all that I am and all that I have to the Great Work! Everything, in my life, was there—including my relationship with Camille. Despite the fact that Burlingame started alienating Camille from me before my Oath, I am inclined to see the finger of the Chiefs there.
I don't have power to avenge myself of personal grievances from anybody. Any power I may come to have must be dedicated to the Work. I have formulated my will as I HELP, meaning, I HELP THE WORK, lately, and it seems my Oath in Barstow came to corroborate that. This was the form of the Oath, quoting from my diary (I still haven't typed it over—the novel, and courses, and everything. Incidentally, I've written 30000 words during the last thirty days).
February 3, Sunday: "At 3.50 this afternoon, lying in the position of the Hanged Man, as Osiris the Aspirant, I affirmed my Oath unto the light of Horus; and my Aspiration unto the Knowledge and Conversation of my Holy Guardian Angel; and my blessing and worship of the Prophet of the Lovely Star, and my will to help the establishing of the Law of Thelema in this Aeon of Horus; and I offered unto this end, which all together comprises the Great Work (knowing that it is mine Angel that has brought me here), all that I am and all that I have, which is the world, and therefore nothing.
"And I also swore that if I do not attain to submit this human self to the light within my Heart, let this self and its Ego be given unto Choronzon—unto whom be Restriction in the name of Babalon!
"So mote it be. And now I am very hungry . . ."
That was it, as transcribed.
My conclusion is, that if somebody is harming the Work, I shall probably be able to sic all the devils of hell unto his tail, and kill him even (for this shall be part of my pledge to Heru-Ra-Ha when I finally invoke him ceremonially—I want, among others, the royal power of dealing death). But, if somebody is harming ME, I shall have no other power against him than a new-born baby against a hurricane—unless his harming me reflects on the Work. Because the point is that no matter how much it matters to me, if it does not matter to the Work, it does not matter a iota.
Burlingame has done me dirty personally, but he has not harmed the Great Work—probably has been instrumental in actually helping mine—and he is certainly helping Camille in fields in which she needs help and which I was not and still am not competent to give instruction.
Also, I am still inclined to believe that Camille has the makings of a true sister and may turn out to be one, soon or in twenty years, who cares?
I also know that she is gone, but I have pledged to help her through pregnancy, and I have no doubt that the child is mine—Burlingame must have some practice at the thing after twenty years, and he has the IX°, as you told me.
I have not torn her personal pledge to me, or thrown it away, or returned t to her, because it is my sincere belief that the pledge was inspired, and I shall keep it until second order from above.
Meantime, of course, I hate the guts of Burlingame just as much as before—well, not really! But that ridiculous school-boy feud idea is off. He has faults, but after all, what else can be expected? And as you yourself said, he has proved himself dedicated to the Work. Let him live and prosper, and so Camille, and by golly, everybody who does not rise against the Law, also!
One thing, though, that all this people in California must learn to realize is that the word of the law is THELEMA—not Agape! ! ! Let's hope they will, eventually. I believe that is the root of Burlingame's "free will" stuff, and probably Smith [Wilfred Talbot Smith] is responsible for it, as his master.
Now you tell me if I am beaten off, or coming to my senses. Or both! . . .
Love is the law, love under will.
Fraternally,
M.
|