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Correspondence from Phyllis Seckler to Various Correspondents
P.O. Box 2043 Dublin, Calif. 94566
March 9, 1977
Care Fratres et Sorores,
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
In view of the enclosed letter from Grady McMurtry to me, it is time that you need to know all the facts of the case so that you can make up your own minds in freedom and with balance. If you know all the facts your decision need not be one-sided and uninformed.
In 1969 due to a series of letters between Grady McMurtry and myself he made arrangements to come to California. My first idea was to start a Thelemic College but through those letters I also discovered that Grady had been given some letters from Aleister Crowley appointing him as Caliph in the O.T.O.
In order to make the move out here from Washington, D.C., Grady asked for my financial help. ($2,000, to be exact). I paid the moving expenses and for the airplane and for other incidentals. When he had been here for only 3 months I saw that these expenses were mounting astronomically and that when Grady got his refund of retirement monies from the Govt. none was given to me to reimburse me for the expenses of his presence in my home. I begged him repeatedly to find a job and carry his own food costs, at least, but he ignored me. Then, like a foolish maiden in love, when the bills threatened lawsuits from the creditors with whom he had run up debts in Washington D.C., I stepped in and paid them. He hadn't been here but one year before I was in debt too in order to help him. During all the time of our association he ignored my requests that he seek work. Still I didn't tumble to the fact that I was being cruelly exploited.
During 4 years of our beginning association this was the case and at the end of this time I had spent something in the neighborhood of $16,000 on his behalf. Meanwhile, he had fallen in with a crude bunch of hippies who were sucking him dry of money and what they thought would be power for them. When this ended Grady was a ruined man psychically. I had the task of picking up the pieces and seeing to it that he had hospital care when needed and general care for him, etc. I saved his life at least twice during this period.
Then he got a small night job and kept it for 2 more years but never gave anything to general household expenses other than what his food cost.
Neither did he support my efforts on behalf of the O.T.O. and kept asking me why I bothered? Nor did he ever once in all this time pay any O.T.O. dues.
Many times I gave him a free I.T.C. but it cost the Order something to do this.
There were five small accidents that he caused to my car and later to the car I bought for his use. Never did he assume the cost of these accidents. I was left to pay for them.
Yes, I was a fool to put up with this, but who can tell a woman in love that she is making a mistake? Further, there were those vague promises that "things were not finished yet" and a vague hope that he might someday take up his burdens of living like a man.
There came a period of time in Jan. of 1975 when my savings were gone, my hope of a secure future in my retirement lost, and only the bleak vision of a future wherein Grady would go on doing as he had done until I was a ruined woman. I told him that I intended to retire in June of 1975 as I could see no point in stymieing myself in order to pander to his desires to leave me bereft. I asked him to find a room in Berkeley. He did this, but continued to live here and refused to even pay for his food, even though in this period of time he had more money than he had when working at his night job in S.F. Instead of shouldering his responsibility in this house, he spent his extra money on drugs and alcohol. (Indeed he has been an alcoholic all along, except for a brief two years when he was working on higher development). I stood it until April and then in true fashion of a Taurus rising, I was suddenly through. I moved him out of this house with a few brief words. I said I didn't care what happened to him. Indeed, he had demonstrated only too clearly by his actions that he didn't care what happened to me, so I guess I had a point there. By the time we parted, he had cost me $18,000. Much too much for a woman who has had nothing all her life except what she earned through her own hard labor.
In Jan. of 1975 through a deal with Llewellyn, he was given $500, as a settlement against any more claims against them for royalties on the Tarot deck. This money was spent on himself. Ideally it should have gone to help the infant O.T.O. In our first years of running the O.T.O. he had power over the bank account. He used the money ($90.00) for his own benefit and never accounted for the way it was spent.
Nor would he consider the fact that all the money I was spending on his personal needs would have been better spent to benefit the O.T.O.
Later, on the money subject, and when we were separated, he had the gall to claim more than once that I came into this world to support him. He has never, to my knowledge, backed down from this claim. With all the troubles between us that were based on money, you would think that he could see that he was wrong on this point. Indeed, I could not convince him that that the past history of my life and my various interests gave him no base for this claim. Nor could I convince him that it was partly due to his disregard for my rights to my own earned money that so much trouble had arisen between us.
Last summer we were able to rescue the Crowley literary materials and remains from the hands of the State of Calif. It was due to worry and effort of myself and another beloved Soror that we succeeded at all. It took many hours of our labor and trouble and costs of gas going to and from San Andreas and West Point to Dublin, etc. Other costs were picked up individually. I paid the lawyer's fees of $1,000 as there was not enough money in the Treasury to cover all costs. It was a difficult work, but if it had not been done, what remained of the A.C. literary remains would have been lost forever. (Remember that part of these remains were stolen from Sascha Germer in Sept. of 1967).
Grady had very little to do with the work done on rescuing these remains beyond appearing at the lawyer's office and in Court and proving that the O.T.O. had a right to Crowley literary remains, due to Crowley's last will and testament on the subject. If you wish for a full story of this whole event, it is now being prepared. But it will cost what it costs to print it, as I no longer take care of Order funds.
I knew that if the A.C. literary remains stayed in this house, that I would be a target for thieves and for violence. I appealed to Grady for his help in this matter. He refused. I was nervous about it because Grady is connected to certain occult crazy groups in Berkeley who had threatened to "rip off the McMurtrys' house" in the past. He let it be known immediately when all the materials were here in Dublin that they were here. I reasoned, Sascha had been robbed in the past and I would be the next one. When Grady had returned to Berkeley, I quietly put all of the materials into an unknown storage place and then I refused to tell him where this was because of his connections to the Berkeley underworld of Occult crazies.
Preliminary negotiations were started over the sale of the first editions which were in the Crowley-Germer library. I asked that I be allowed to sell enough of these first editions to cover the $1,000 that I had paid to the lawyer. Grady agreed to this verbally. I then stated that he would have no right to sell any of the books until this debt was paid to me. You can see, if you have a business head, that his selling of any of the first editions would have hampered my effort to sell and so repay myself. Further, to date, the sale of the first editions has only repaid me about $100.00 and has paid for their storage, and that is all. It is believed that this is all that they will do, as there are not enough of these first editions to do anything else than this.
If they would do more than this, the plan was to put any extra money into a savings account that would benefit the O.T.O. as a whole. I did not consult Grady on this as his past record where money was concerned was too abysmal. Further, he had proved to me too many times that I could not trust him. Further in this matter of trust, he had many time given promises to others in regard to the Order and directive affecting it when under the influence of alcohol. The next day he did not know what he had promised and said. I many times had to correct his errors in regard to the welfare of the Order.
[X] was involved in the rescue of the library operations and claimed that it was his will to work with the contents of the archives which Karl [Karl Germer] had so carefully kept. I knew something of the things that might be contained in the correspondence and I agreed with the Caliph's statement in a letter to Motta [Marcelo Motta] that O.T.O. dirty linen ought not to be washed in public. [X] was a student of Motta's and connected to the liar—[Y]. (strong words, but can be proved). So I wrote to [X] when he said he was coming to Calif. to work on the library and I forbade him access to it—especially the correspondence. I did not consult Grady for reasons above stated. In spite [X] deleted the name of the O.T.O. from his publication of Liber AL and from his future publication of the Tarot deck. Not once did he ask if he was wrong in assuming too much in regards to the Crowley literary remains. I do not know to this day what Grady promised him when they were drinking together. Further, [X] was only a Minerval as of 1975 and had no right to assume too much. This I told him. You all know that many Minervals never make it through the first year. Would you have these precious materials worked on by a fellow who could not prove himself in terms of Order disciplines?
My safety was then threatened by [Z] at the end of September, who stated that if Grady ordered it, he would torture me until I gave the whereabouts of the Crowley-Germer library. When I mentioned this to Grady in a phone call of Nov. 2, he verified it and quoted this from Liber AL: "Kill and torture, spare not; be upon them!" (Cap. III, c. 18). I reminded him that this was not to be applied to members of the Order and had been carried out by Hitler and his like.
Since Grady is now under the influence of a former American Nazi, you can perhaps see the seeds of some of this violence, to say nothing about what is hidden in the depths of Grady's nature. In short, I feel that the combination of these two men would not be healthy for members of the O.T.O. Others have fallen into the trap of coercion of O.T.O. members, is this sad history to be repeated?
I gave Grady a chance to negotiate on O.T.O. matters and on the library last November. He did not take this chance. Now his opportunity is lost. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL I MEET WITH HIM ON THESE MATTERS WITH ANYONE ELSE PRESENT. In fact, from the tone of this letter to me, you can see that I would not be willing to negotiate with him at all.
Those of you who know are aware of the fact that I have spent many hours for your benefit without pay. I answered your first letters of enquiry. (Indeed Grady has refused to do this work from the beginning, also other work which would help you.) I have kept up a correspondence with you and have answered your questions and have helped you in any way within my power. I have made O.T.O. equipment myself and have paid for it out of my own funds. (To date—in the neighborhood of $300.00) I made Grady's robes and paid for them. I made a horoscope for each new member and either wrote about it or discussed it with you. I have planned and shopped and prepared the feasts that took place at this house. Other members have contributed either money or food or wine. Grady has contributed nothing of these things—only once when he was made to do so. Since Grady has failed at taking care of money, I have done this and the record of each expenditure is available to you. I have steadily put out In the Continuum under my own efforts. I have taken care of all its costs meticulously. Then I have also founded and run the College of Thelema. This is a great deal of work and perhaps too much for one person.
Frankly, I am glad that part of this work has been taken off my shoulders. But it has been done in such an inconsiderate way and with the usual cruel fashion based on ill-considered action that Grady is often capable of, in spite of his outward charm, that I am now going to take on a period of silence where the O.T.O. is concerned (that is, Grady's branch of it) until new paths can be found.
In explanation of my period of retirement which Grady mentions in his letter which I enclose along with this account; I took this retirement to work on my emotional reactions to various events, to straighten myself out so that I could better invoke the H.G.A. [Holy Guardian Angel], to lay a groundwork of solid knowledge so that I could help my students and anyone who could benefit from what I had learned. I pulled myself away from certain social events because they were hampering the accomplishment of my True Will.
In further explanation: the type of work I have been doing is completely upset by those who provoke emotional reactions from me. Therefore, I have allowed only those I love and only those who are neutral into my orbit in these six months. I have accomplished much in my 6 hours or more of work per day. I have been fulfilling my Will as I see it. Such work does not really earn scorn from a Caliph!
I shall continue with the College of Thelema and I shall continue to put out In the Continuum. But the latter will cost $12.00 a year as this is what it costs to put it out, print it, pay for paper and supplies and mail it. High, but its circulation is too small to do much about costs at the present. I am considering a wider circulation to those outside of the Order and outside of the College of Thelema.
There is no way that Grady can remove me from an Order for its business is taken care of on other planes. If I am silent now let me assure you that Grady is not the only O.T.O. person on this planet. I am assured that other paths can be found for me and for those who wish, if they want to follow this example.
Now I am going to give you a few thoughts to put in your head, should you so wish. A Caliph is not mentioned in the Constitution of the Order or in the Duties and Privileges of Brethren. (Blue Equinox). But a Supreme and Holy King is mentioned. A Supreme and Holy King may be removed by action of an O.H.O. We do not as yet have an O.H.O. but nothing says that there will not be one in the future. Presumably, a Supreme and Holy King could be the same person as a Caliph. An O.H.O. is elected to office. Well what do you think?
Now, further, in a letter to Motta, Grady claimed he was a Practicus of A∴A∴ This was a lie. Further, he has been claiming that he gave all to the O.T.O. This is also a lie, for what he gave in money was what he owed to me from the very beginning of our association. He has other stories that embroider somewhat on the truth. This is why I have tried to be so careful to state to you the facts as I have experienced them.
As you consider your reactions and thoughts on these matters perhaps you would like to ask yourself several questions. Would Crowley have condoned a Caliph who would not contribute dues or other help to his own order? Would he have condoned a Caliph who has a record of extreme personal selfishness? A Caliph who does not shoulder his responsibilities? Who does very little to help the beginner in a very small Order? A Caliph who thinks in terms of a "power base" where people are concerned and not of each individual and his welfare? (There are his own words.) Do you want to belong to an O.T.O. where threats of violence are used against a dedicated and older sister by the Caliph and his cronies?
As to the letters of authorization. Crowley made many mistakes in his judgment of people. He expected them to be as much of a genius as he was. He did a lot of projections and expected them to act as he did. They didn't and the O.T.O. was plagued and has been plagued ever since. It may take some years for these effects to wear off. But the blueprint is there in The Blue Equinox and all you need to do is to study this and weigh the story I have told you against the ideal and give a little room foe human foibles and failures, but not too much room, or we are all lost!
Then refer to the great principles in The Book of the Law and decide for yourself what you want to do. What is your will in the matter? Is an outer Order really necessary with all its political wheelings and dealings and coercion of members as now shown forth in this outer Order, our present O.T.O.? Or is there a true Occult Order on other planes which really shadows forth is truths by shadowing forth its great principles in those who are devoted to the true Masters? Can you wait for a true forth shadowing of Thelemic behaviour? Can you put these principles into your own behaviour and actions?
And a note of humour! Never step on a worm, for there is nothing for her to lose, and she may turn and bite!
To wind up, I have acted on my own in Order concerns because of the reasons outlined above. In many matters it was useless to consult with Grady. I proved this to myself many times and in ways that were too subtle to explain at the moment of action or subsequently. I have a record of these events and what I think is good reason for my actions. I apologise to you for inducting you into an Order with such troubled leadership. Now let me assure you that I remain your true Thelemic friend and will assist you as much as I can. May you make a decision according to your own best interests and in line with your own True Will.
Love is the law, love under will.
Fraternally with love,
Soror Meral
Copies of this letter are being sent to all O.T.O. members, to all members of the College of Thelema and to a few other interested persons. If any more violence is threatened against me, copies of this letter will be sent to the Swiss O.T.O., occult publications, and any person desiring entrance into the O.T.O., pus other interested people in the Occult world.
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