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Correspondence from Phyllis Seckler to Gary Allen Martin (G.M. Kelly)
College of Thelema P.O. Box 2043 Dublin, Calif. 94566
Aug. 13, 1979
Dear Kelly,
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Thank you for your letter of July 17 and please excuse this delay in answering. I have been on vacation and then on my return had to attend to I.T.C. [In the Continuum] and the College students and on and on. Also, my letters to you I count partly as Rest and Recreation and since I had already had another type of that in the vacation, I waited.
But—your card for the celebration of Aug. 12 arrived and I looked at the back to your comment on G's tapes and that gave me such a burst of laughter, that I an now inspired to write. Really, laughter puts everything in right perspective.
I enjoyed very much your analysis of the 3 samples of handwriting. I understood the sensitivity in Motta's [Marcelo Motta] nature and told him about it with my first reading of his horoscope and he was astonished. But since his chart goes badly with mine, he has seen fit to use me as another of his whipping boys. Well, that is up to him, but it does make him look ridiculous. Yes, he does come up with false and absurd conclusions, and I agree with all you say under Form. Yes, he is shrewd and dangerous and so I do not agree that he will ever be as much of a force in Thelema as he likes to thin. He hits out in a totally unwarranted fashion at his students, especially if they don't toady enough to suit him, and thus he loses person after person. I once crossed swords with him over the paranoia, as I also did in regards to Karl [Karl Germer] (after his death) and this is another reason why Motta would like to see me gone, or deleted, or something!
As to Bill, he could be more than he is, as he wished to conform to G's [Grady McMurtry] idea of things and thus plot to be next Caliph. I stopped him once and shall continue to work against this eventuality. He relies on sophistry so much that I often wonder if straightforward honesty has become an old fashioned virtue! But then, perhaps I shall disown the whole of the present O.T.O., even though I have been in it for 40 years. Believe me, I am tempted as I don't think the circus that goes on is any good for my own work. Yes, I do agree with the majority of opinions in your analysis about Bill—yes, the vulgarity is there and the pride and you can't tell him anything much about his mistakes as he is a Leo and that type simply doesn't want to hear about such things.
Yes, Bill is a prey to his own ego and his honesty that could be is lost in the shuffle.
If Bill is not really doing his will, then neither is Grady and this is why they are making such a mess of things. Long ago I thought that when A.C. gave G. his magical name and appointed him as a Caliph, that this blew for this life, whatever may have been G.'s real Will. He is nothing but a stupid soldier, really, but with some intellectual ability and cunning (the knife in the back kind) which somehow seemed to impress A.C. when G. was only about 21 or 22. Remember that intelligence and intellect are two different things. G. does not have very much of the former. Yes, G. is devious and unstable and comes up with false conclusions, etc. Yes, he takes the expedient way, to the great detriment of O.T.O. He gives out grades in O.T.O. and A∴A∴ without ever seeing if the individual has done the work. (He was thrown out of Jane Wolfe's branch of A∴A∴ for this and other things in May of 1979 but this does not deter him. He goes on giving out false and phony certificates and grades and so on.)
Well, I am too close to the problem and after I have blown my top a few tops, I come up with no answer at the present except silence and let the Gods take care of his stupidity and dishonesty.
Physical problems, yes, due to the alcoholism, kidneys, hemorhoids, heart, high blood pressure. Mental troubles, yes. Yes, he lacks the qualifications to reach his dreams, which are far beyond his capacity. Vanity and boastfulness until one soon gets sick of hearing it. No, I have been trying, unsuccessfully, to get rid of G. for the O.T.O. for quite some time. It seems that the O.T.O. to date deserves him as no one wants to move against him. In my mind, this is not the real O.T.O. But then where might the real one be?
Very excellent work, indeed. I must admit that my form of Astrology is not so concise or pat, as I am too much of an optimist and keep thinking that a person can overcome problems. Well, it has been proven to me for ever so long that this is not the case! 99% of humanity live out their horoscopes to the letter! Those who don't are maybe those who have either contacted the H.G.A. [Holy Guardian Angel] or crossed the Abyss.
Would you like to analyze my handwriting? And from time to time I will say something on your horoscope, though right now I have loaned all of your Newaeon Newsletter to a friend and have asked him to give out some of your circulars. So I shall have to wait until I get the one back with your horoscope.
Now to your letter of the 17th July. Yes, all sorts are entering G.'s O.T.O. as they believe in the letters of authorization. Some gnash their teeth, as I do, and some are too stupid to know what is happening.
Do you have the Manifesto of the Fraternitas Saturni? Who is behind this? Toronto, Canada.
You mention that a certain female in H.S. got you and then became a certain despised harlot as in the Book of the Law. Well, I think we should always be very wary of attributing any one person to anything in LIBER AL, as this has in the past lead to much confusion and obsession and insanity. Now I suppose you are going to object on that sentence! Instead of ruminating on it and considering it and maybe using it as something useful to your growth?
Then you go on about your avenging angel being responsible for hurting people who hurt you. What goes on here? Are you not aware that anyone who suffers something has earned it for themselves????? And it may have nothing to do with you? And how come you can't consider these people who harmed you as necessary to your growth and thus learn from the experience? How come you have to be so angry that you consider that whatever happens to them is your doing instead of theirs? How come you can't be grateful that you have learned something very necessary no matter how it hurt? Does this not indicate that you have learned not much at all if you can so hold a grudge for so long? Do you not consider that maybe one of your lessons is to let anger go, blow away, dissolve?
Aleister Ataturk showed up with his mother [Patricia MacAlpine] in the last year of A.C.'s life and was supposed to be some sort of magical child. All of Agape Lodge was supposed to look out for him, pay his school fees, and so on and especially Karl. Well, the boy finally came to the U.S., Karl took him under his wing and the kid turned out to be every kind of a phony. He stayed in Calif. for a time, got caught stealing a car and was finally deported. Before that, Karl was forced to wash his hands of him as he was just impossible! No sense of responsibility, no desire to grow up, not much intelligence, unless you can call low cunning to suit his own desires a sort of intelligence. And on and on. So far, since he got back to England, not much has been heard, and better yet. He has not proven anything at all, much less any calibre of man fit to be the son of A.C. As to the other picture you refer to—not the same boy. I haven't seen that picture and know nothing of that little boy.
As to the people A.C. chose. He had very little or nothing to chose from! Karl proved his devotion by always finding money for A.C. to live on and publish. You can get some idea of Karl by reading a letter here and there which I am putting in I.T.C. As I go on with Jane's life, more will come out about Karl and Jane. Hardly anyone else at all even came up to what they did, most ordinary people. A.C. had a habit of dishing out terrible ordeals to those around him and so a lot of people who might have made good on their own slower pace were just simply thrown off. Moths burned by the too brilliant and intense flame of A.C. and he also made many mistakes as to people. He was too much of a genius in his own line to even understand fully what he had done to some; I would even go so far as to say, he understood very little about people! If anyone was subtle about people, it would be the entity called Aiwass, or something of the sort! Or say it is the Secret Chiefs, or — — —
Motta is in his 40's—I can't locate his horoscope at the present. No, I don't write to him, not anymore, since the last time he got nasty with me—1976 or so.
I had a good laugh at the Bertreaux treatment. The more these people are made to look ridiculous, the better the point gets across! Yes, that is good, your work in this respect is very useful as there are too many confused beginners floating around—and they are not smart, either.
This R. and R. has tired me—I'll sign off.
Love is the law, love under will.
Fraternally,
Phyllis
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