Mary Butts Diary Entry

Thursday, 1 September 1921

Heroin all yesterday—magnificent but v.[ery] bad astral—Did one on Apollo's lyre—saw an enormous golden [illegible] in a bright green supra-mundane wood, and a huge [illegible] and gold hair.

No rosy cross astral—but v. late saw in the Temple [illegible] a ghost I have often suspected. It came from the box room, crosses by the Beast's desk, and goes straight through our room, through the wall out the Thelema court, and up the path. It is a small woman, [illegible] and [illegible] by the grove, in mouldy slightly phosphorescent clothes.

I notice that heroin makes me 'nervous' and very inclined to fear.

I see that astral journeys, with or without drugs (some of my best have been without) can be exploited more than is supposed.

(a) I begin to see it in plans, and the repetition of each symbol in the manner appropriate to each place. The Beast later told me how to go about making enquiries till I found the place I wanted to get.

(b) I begin to notice more than facts, and seeing of appearance, but atmosphere and qualities of persons and places. I begin to remember to enquire of the people, and the adept who stood at my shoulder last time, will, I think, re-appear.

(c) I suppose I can in time reach the 'ecstatic' planes by elimination and enquiry—no— I don't think I can, but I must find a way that is not blundering—[illegible] way back.

(d) I can explore, I imagine, certain planes other than by formal symbols—Certain words will unlock certain gates, certain images and verses.

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