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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Saturday, 1 June 1901
Finished reperusal of Esoteric Buddhism.
"Affaire" don't much care what happens really. Love is good, but so is freedom. I will do my best, for Statue and Bust reasons. That's all.
This is most horrible. In my room to-night all my comedy is turned to bitter tragedy. She [Mary Rogers] would, but it would kill her (Cancer of Uterus). Also said she was flowing. Am a little doubtful if R.C. allow lies to save honour. If true, this is the most terrible comment on May 10—"Working up Eurydice emotions".
I have accomplished my purpose—now I can be a pure self-sacrificing lover. Yet she would not swear to truth of this cancer story—medically it seemed unlikely. But it is too cruel to try and trick her.
Hen[ry] VIII V i 157-8.
[Tarot Divination] "Shall I go to Kamakura and live a hermit's life in [symbol for Earth]?
Success is earned and the work perfected. Sudden is the change, and Thou art with divine justice. Thy pleasure thou dost abandon and transform, conquering thy love in enthusiasm for the highest beauty (the lotus). Thou art successful as regards thine embarrassments for money and a land journey is crowned with perfect success. The desire of initiation is fulfilled but there is suffering though thou art at peace. Be wise in avoiding a quarrel if Alice [Mary Rogers] be obsessed. The final will be strength etc.
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