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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Wednesday, 2 October 1901
"Ego sed si sileam, terque quaterque felix! ["But if I am silent, I am three times, four times happy!"] The discipline as before. About 5 P.M. again, by the Grace Ineffable of Bhawani to the meanest of Her devotees, arose the Splendour of the Inner Sun. As bidden by my Guru, I saluted the Dawn with Pranava. This, as I foresaw, retained the Dhyanic Consciousness. The Disk grew golden: rose clear of all its clouds, flinging great fleecy cumuli of rose and gold, fiery with light into the midmost aether of the subtle space. Hollow It seemed and rayless as the Sun in Sagittarius yet incomparably brighter: but rising clear of cloud, It began to revolve, to coruscate, to throw off streamers of jetted fire! This from a hill-top I beheld, dark as of a dying world. Covered with black decayed wet peaty wood, a few dead pines stood stricken and unutterably alone. But behind the glory of its coruscations seemed to shape, an idea, less solid than a shadow! an idea of some vast Human-seeming Form!
Now grew doubt and thought in Aleister's miserable mind and the One Wave grew many many
waves and all was lost. Alas! Alas! for Aleister! And Glory
Eternal unto Her, She the Twin-Breasted that hath encroached
ever
AUM Namo Bhavaniya AUM.
8.30 a.m. Mantra “Aum Tat Sat Aum.”
9.10 a.m. - 10.50 a.m. Â’sana with Mantra and eyes turned to Ajna Chakkra. Chittam distinctly slowing towards end.
10.50 a.m. - 12.5 p.m. Continued lying down. [Did I sleep?]
12.35 a.m. - 1.45 a.m. For a walk muttering Mantra.
2.20 p.m. - 2.45 p.m. Â’sana. Always forgetting to repeat the Mantra, Mâitrânandra Swami says p.m. p.m. this is right. Ajna is now more steely in appearance and is open at a constant angle of about 30° to 40°.
3.10 p.m. - 3.45 p.m. Prânâyâma. Thirty minutes 10. 20. 30.
4.10 p.m. Resumed Â’sana. The “invading” thoughts are more and more fragmentary and ridiculous. I cannot mentally pronounce the Mantra with correctness, e.g. “Op tap sapa” or “shastra” for “sat,” etc. Now arose, with Music of the Vînâ the Golden Dawn. At 5.15 I arose.
5.42 p.m. Resumed my Â’sana and did three Prânâyâmas of 25. 15. 50. Also of 20. 10. 40.
Mâitrânanda Swami [Allan Bennett] explained above as follows: Unto the sunset, moonrise, Agni; then Vishvarupa Darshana, and one’s own personal God; then Âtma-Darshana and Shiva-Darshana.
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upon the other half of the Destroyer! [Note: The dot and
semicircle forms half of the Sanskrit word for Aum.]