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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Monday, 22 February 1904
Die Monday.
Tewfik Palace Hotel, Helwan Egypt.
We started for China via Burma. Arrived in Ceylon, the astral obstacles to a visit to Ananda Maitriya increased—became insuperable. In the Great Pyramid on Nov[ember], 22 [1903] I performed a magical ceremony with remarkable results, the King's Chamber being filled with the glory of Ι Α Ω; and in the morning a practical work with Amoun result in my wife becoming pregnant. This, on the one hand: my own misfortunes on the other; drove us back disguised to Egypt. I am here as Prince Chioa Khan, an ingenious and vastly amusing avatar; and more sceptical than ever. For, to say the truth, the follies of Buddhism, as represented by Allan [Allan Bennett] and the "literary" school, and the bestialities of Buddhism, as represented by the life of the people of Ceylon, have finished by disgusting me beyond all measure. I can no longer fight whole-heartedly for Gautama; I am about to suck the Cosmic Egg of the camel-thief of Mecca; but convinced in myself that to no great man can it ever be possible to work in any existing system. If he has followers, so much the worse for them.
Dr. Maudsley [Henry Maudsley], the greatest of living authorities on the brain explained to me the physiological aspect of dhyana (unity of subject and object) as extreme activity of one part of the brain; extreme lassitude of the rest. He refused to localize the part. Indulgence in the practice he regards as dangerous, but declined to call the single experience pathological. This is perhaps to be regarded as a complete victory for me; since I would always admit so much. No doubt the over-fatigue is indicated as the danger; but has not Eckenstein [Oscar Eckenstein]—who again shines!—too often urged this very danger? After fatigue, said he, rest altogether for 24 hours. Well! And I doubt not that follies of so many enthusiasts, the terrible warnings of Blavatsky [Helena Petrovna Blavatsky] and others, are explained (the one) and justified (the other) by this circumstance. Let me therefore warily proceed! (not merely—proceed warily!).
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