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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Friday, 19 July 1907
10.20 A.M. Sat down in Alhambra (balcony turret).
10.40. In my irrawady ordeal, the mortar of the Universe gave way. Today the stones themselves crumble and dissolve. There is no meaning in any way; all statements are not only false and true, but unintelligible. (This is the hell of Binah.)
11.30. A struggle to "understand all things." Passing through tattwic colour visions, 'Hodos Cameilon and Qesheth, etc. I came to darkness, but the barrier holds, and even Adonai's glory is denied; perhaps because I kept affirming the impressions to be Adonai. No ananda; but one must obtain it before one can reject it. (I think I should have had the strength to do so: hence the remark).
Returned to Dejeuner.
Went a long hot walk and to Cathedral. No work; the place is cool and calm, but is useless as long as other people can walk about. The same criticism applies to the decorations. The Pyramid is much the sublimest of the monuments. Yet I would not forbid pictorial art; but one shrine is the rule: a church is not a subirbal drawing room or a bric-A-brac shop.
P.M. Cathedral well enough if you own it and can be alone. CATENA reveals architectural truth for Crowleyanity. Simplicity—one decoration at a time.
6.00-7.30. Sun-gazing in Western Tower. More infernal tatwas; much emotion; devil a sign of dhyana.
10. P.M. La Gitana Saliya [art] O the roses of the world!
11.20. Sleep, alas. (19th—I guess attachment was what spoilt all this.)
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