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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Rex de Arte Regia Tuesday, 24 August 1915
Opus[1] XCVI
[EXTRACT]
1:35 a.m. [A twelve-hour operation.]
[Undertaken with Helen Westley.]
[Object.] Thanks to God for Hilarion [Jeanne Foster].
The idea was this: suppose H.[ilarion] as is possible has befooled and betrayed me, has taken my heart for her sport, torn it out, mangled it, and trampled on it. Then, still, thank God for Hilarion.
Result: This is one of the greatest experiences of my life. Curious that the 1906 success also came through a magical thanksgiving under stress of passion. I went off to sleep almost at once. In the morning I woke early, before seven, in an absolutely renewed physical condition. I had the clean fresh feeling of healthy boyhood, and was alert and active as a kitten—post talem mortem! Mentally, I woke into Pure Love. This was symbolized as a cube of blue-white light like a diamond of the best quality. It was lucid, translucent, self-luminous and yet not radiating forth. I suppose because there was nothing else in the cosmos. This verb love is intransitive; the love has no object. My gross mind vanished; when, later on, memory pictures of Hilarion arose, they were rejected automatically. All the desire—quality, the clinging, the fear, were no more; it was Pure Love without object or attachment. I cannot describe the quality of the emancipation given by this most wonderful experience. Aum.
1—[Crowley performs a magical sexual operation.]
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