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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Rex de Arte Regia Wednesday, 22 December 1915
OPUS CXXXVII[1]
[EXTRACT]
[9:46 p.m.]
[Assistant: Jeanne Foster.]
[Object:] Create in me a clean beast, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. I have been going through an appallingly bad time spiritually, going straight to the Devil, in fact, all through not following out the formula 'Keep on loving and trusting!' Now I have repented, and been treated better than the Prodigal Son himself! I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes. If I can't sure myself of suspicion, I'm no good. Therefore I will. It might help to start a "Liber III' ceremony every time I have such a thought, or a thought of infidelity. Good; I'll get the Sacred Burin out.
[Result:] The Operation was all-perfect; Oh My Lord grant me Thy Light and Peace! My lady gave herself to me utterly of her own accord, and with extreme love; how can I be so vile as to argue that this was because she knew of Leila's [Leila Waddell] attempt to seduce me yesterday, or because she feared what I might do in my jealous fit? I won't blaspheme the IX, however, so shall write "wonderful success" against Operation CXXXVI!!!
[December 26:] The extreme cynicism of above remarks never struck me till re-reading.
P.S. An XII [1916]
1—[Crowley performs a magical sexual operation.]
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in
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Result was that I tried [illegible] of H.[ilarion]
[Jeanne Foster].