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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Wednesday, 28 June 1916
June 28, 1916 E.V. die Mercurii. Adams Cottage, Bristol, N[ew] H[ampshire].
Last night I dreamt that I was
divining in re my grade of
9º=2o,
and pulled the Deuce of Diamonds. This was not the ordinary
Tarot card, but a regular Deuce, only with the two diamonds
linked by a stem.
I also dreamt, but less vividly, that the four deuces were a complete synthesis of the powers of the grade. This may have been the result of rationalizing the true dream.
7:30 p.m. Took 200 drops Chocolate base preparation Anh[alonium] Lew[inii].
10:30 p.m. Awhile ago I had cut down a great tree, whose fork was marvellous like unto the thighs of a Goddess. This I set up upon a stone, and putting another part of the trunk—with a similar but smaller fork—for a Phallus, I did enflame this giant copulation by my magick art. And first the Phallus became as the head of a great serpent, even the eye and ear marked aright, and he visibly taking pleasure in his kisses to that mighty Vulva. Last he fell exhausted, and the head being burnt through, I did then erect the shaft against that mighty Love; then they glowed and flamed right gleefully together; even unto this hour.
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The meaning of this card was that I must
gain the most complete indifference to pain, my own or
another’s. (Else, I suppose, one is bound to a hedonistic
outlook.) (P.S. March 12, '17.
One cannot act freely as a magus must if one has this
inhibition.)