Aleister Crowley Diary Entry

[Reincarnation Memory Diary]

Sunday, 6 July 1919

 

 

1.15 P.M.

I was rather like the __________ of Velasquez, the big ugly head and a dwarfish bow-legged but sturdy body. The name was a long one, all Latin words; but they called me Klopio, or something of the sort, to imply deformity and dishonesty. I was indeed a great liar, cheat, and thief, as well as a great scholar and mathematician. I hated men and was cynical and bitter. I hated women too. I remember forcing a woman to come to my house by threats, and when I had her at my mercy, laughed at her and enjoyed myself alone, to her hideous consternation. I seem to have done no magic at all, though I taught men tricks whereby to dupe the vulgar. I was dreadfully unhappy, and taught myself not to care, but to rejoice in all misfortunes. I played some trick on a Prince which nearly cost my life; but he didn't catch me. I died of pneumonia, following exertion and exposure; can't remember why, but 'twas my habit. I drank heavily, without losing control, but becoming wittier and more malicious all the time. I loved cold cruelty and brutality; there was a boy I used to flog and starve, quite without passion. I had great ambitions, too, wanted to rule world by my mathematics, for the object of reviving them. I killed a man in a duel for insulting my ugliness. I gashed his face savagely when he was dead; the seconds—my own included—turned to attack me for this, but I fought my way out. This life seems to have been mostly in Italy, but also in Spain and France, and North Africa. It seems as if this and the Claudia life were two odd pieces of Karma, caused by the life before this, which was a big affair.

 

P.S. This incarnation was the one before, not after, Alexander VI. It was an attempt of Baal Zakar to rule the world by intellect. It was the last of the 8 'misfires', in fact.

 

 

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