|
Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Thursday, 26 February 1920
Woke with a strange dream. I was living in a cave behind a membrane. (Ninette's [Ninette Shumway] vagina—recognized as such during dream.) All light was carefully excluded, but I had an incandescent marble mantle which I had put in myself. (Phallus. There’s a marble [mantle?] in bathroom.) This cave was by a very swift river. (Loring [Canal] opposite the Coq which I gazed on at lunch Tuesday.) Yet it was also the cave. There were muddy roads awkwardly placed, like those of Fontainebleau, where one is always being cut off by walls. I had a tandem bicycle without handles. (Had ridden a bicycle during day—first time in years—the handles were loose on bar.) Ninette was with me now. Various old friends—men—came to see me in the cavern. I had to take Ninette to dinner some distance away. I said I thought she was the sort of girl to be able to ride without handles. (Did I suspect her of being a Lesbian?) We started, went very well. Then I saw Naish [William Naish], in a boat, standing. He was going down stream at a great pace. He was one of my best friends at Cambridge. I called when he saw us; we went out to him. Joyful greeting. I introduced Ninette as ‘Miss O’Wade’. (Probably Oued, river.) We made a date with Naish for dinner on some future day and returned to the bicycle. I think it had changed into a boat and then turned back again. Then I woke. Note: it began to rain very softly and sweetly, rustling in the leaves, some time in the early morning. (True time is 4.15.) 4.14 a.m.
At 5.15 a.m. I was awake again and found Ninette had been to see Alostrael [Leah Hirsig] whose amnion had punctured. General symbol for Alostrael’s confinement. Ming I. This is strikingly appropriate. She had a very easy time, the child being born at 11 to 11.15 a.m. true time. (12 to 12.5 Noon D[aylight] S[avings] time.) I named her Anne Lea—thus getting in 31! Howard, later, wanted to call her Poupee, and that is the real name for domestic use. Her general symbol is [I Ching Hexagram] 41, Earth of Water, Sun. It means diminution. One of the most obscure hexagrams of the Yi[ King]. But it might be read, ‘Her mother’s daughter’. However, she has my mouth. ‘Twins’ came out all right, too, if as I roughly calculate, she has Gemini rising.
10.5 p.m. Opus[1] XII, Ninette and Ethel [Oxide]. Opus: very poor, owing to her dreadful technique. Euphemia Lamb said, ‘A virgin always does the wrong thing at, the right time.’ The widow of an American always does the wrong thing at the wrong time. Object: to have a baby. Elixir thin, weak, ill-made. Note: the persecution of Masters is the Oedipus Complex, mortals making the transfer of the father to Us. Reflections on the aforesaid epigram. A French whore always does the right thing at the wrong time. An experienced person who loves you fills the fourth possibility.
1—[Crowley performs a magical sexual operation.]
|