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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Monday, 14 June 1920
I omitted an important point in the above. My philosophy shows how the Universe makes a perpetual profit on its transactions, explains why it doesn't sell the business. For the unique, free, unalterable A can aggrandize itself by combining with B, C, etc. When it withdraws again it is still the same A, but enriched by its experiences. Even should it meet Minus A, they may well agree to let their Zero explode into a, minus a, a prime minus a prime, a 2 prime minus a 2 prime, etc.
Our Lady Nuith says for love's sake, for the chance of union. She is Infinite Space, and also the Infinite Stars thereof. We think of the Stars as Matter, as 'positive'; we can't think of a 'negative' star, which would cancel a 'positive' one. We can only think of two motions as thus equal and opposite. But matter without motion cannot exist. Matter is then the Body of our Lady as Naught; introduce a plus and minus notion, and we see a Two, i.e. the Universe. This Motion is Hadit.
Love, or Death, is the Motion towards Naught; Division or Birth, the opposite.
It is wrong to represent Love, or the Will to Die, as Oedipus: Complex, though they may be for some. They may be of the Will to conquer, to create, to combine forms, works proper to Artist and to Hero. Why call Love's fierce activity a flight? Or Curtius' leap a tired man's gesture? Certainly, if you don't think death ends you, suicide may be a hero's act. If you do, well, death's inevitable, and you may as well choose time and mode. If you're sure that Love, or Death, must end in Birth, the end, admittedly heroic, justifies the means.
But Nuith says rather that the Birth of the Stars is for Love's sake. And why? Because Love yields a By-Product, on a higher plan; it exalts things and sublimes them. Chemical reaction gives heat, light &c., besides the 'child' of the same order of nature as its parents; so with other kinds of love. Thus 'spirit' is produced by any piece of matter in motion uniting with its mode. This can be used again to replace the lost motion; we often see the 'will to love' move matter.
Consider. H plus Cl equals HCl plus Heat, a definite amount which we can turn into other forms of motion, but not into matter. Next we take NaOH and get NaCl plus H20 plus more Heat. But now nearly all the original 'loose heat' of our elements is gone and we'll get no violent 'loves' from Salt and Water.
The more complex a thing is the tamer it is, except with true explosives, which explode by internal stress, and not by combustion or combination.
A man, after many reactions, loses his potential, like the elements in the salt water. Simple and inexperienced souls love violent pangs.
But if I turn my released heat into electricity, I can electrolyse myself, and regain that potential. (This is of the Gnosis, by the way.) Thus I must use the spiritual powers developed by my experience to analyse myself, to regain my elemental simplicities, and recombine them. This is what Nuith does; and being infinite, does with no waste.
5.00 p.m. The dawn-meditation was highly graced by the K[nowledge] & C[onversation] of the H[oly] G[uardian] A[ngel]. And I came thence to ask the meaning of the word 'Who'. I can't define it.
7.30 p.m. Having worked all night, it has been a rotten day. Have I vowed it rightly to the God of ldleness? I should. Yet, a red-letter day, for I got my tobacco at last!
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