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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Saturday, 10 July 1920
Back at Cefalu.
The wish to 'indulge' in Cocaine uses the casuistical powers of the mind. It offers all sorts of arguments, to which one can only oppose the direct (and in a sense unreasoned) negative. If one says 'not till tomorrow', it may argue that tomorrow begins at midnight; if one extends intervals, it wants to increase doses; and so on. It also keeps attacking the subconscious mind, suggesting the 'hidden want' mentioned by Shelley. It objects to rivals, creates a distaste for food, or even other stimulants, with perhaps the exception of morphine. Its 'special pleadings' are most bewilderingly subtle and cogent, though I think it derogates somewhat in advancing the 'one little dose can't hurt you' argument which is said to be so deadly with the frail wine-bibber, or addict of 2 3/4% near-beer! The question is: will it refuse me sleep? I have taken the 'one little dose' and feel particularly alert. Will it now say, 'Go on: do a real man's night's work!' I was very sleepy indeed before I took it; and the release from that weariness is terribly seductive.
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