|
Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Thursday, 5 August 1920
Throat still bad; compresses and sleep. I note that my erection is strong and lasting all these days—it was never better in my whole life. I seem always ready and eager to enjoy any spare moments as Leah [Leah Hirsig] wishes, and I have no trouble in self-mastery either.
We may then definitely assert that big doses of cocaine impair erection. (Necessary to say this, as so much of the generally received opinion about its effects is inaccurate.) I note further that I have not the slightest wish to renew taking the drug. (A week since I did so.) I see each experiment in perspective, as a cycle; and I feel that the game is not worth the candle. I came long years ago to precisely the same conclusion about hashish; and abandoned the use of it for that exact reason. But I use hashish today for mind-analysis, at need, and have no reaction, for I know how to use it. I have still to learn how to use cocaine to produce writing fits without getting bad after-results. At present my sole technique is abstinence, for after long disuse cocaine acts very well. I am sure, too, that I must conquer the tendency to keep on nipping at it all night, but get all I want from one or two sniffs, as I did in New Orleans.
|