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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Sunday, 15 August 1920
9.00 p.m. Everybody sick or damaged; all a mess. Oppressive weather, threatening rain, with no proper fall—so far. For these two or three days both Leah [Leah Hirsig] and I have thought of cocaine (1) useless, ( 2) a nuisance, (3) without fascination, as quite understood. I took a single sniff about 8.00 p.m. and found myself flung from depression to exultation; with impatience and a powerful impulse to' make a night of it. The hunger suppressed all my previous general reflections. I resisted this and it is now passing off slowly, but very reluctantly. I gave Leah a single sniff, and asked her to record her attitude. I avoided mentioning mine, as above written. I may add that the hunger is not so much positive as negative; i.e. there seems nothing else one can possibly do. To go on is not interesting, but all other occupations are boring.
10.20. Leah's sensations were very similar to mine. Give a symbol for the present attitude of Ninette [Ninette Shumway]. [I Ching] Hexagram VI, Contention. Really, now?
What course shall I take? [I Ching] Hexagram VII. This seems: oppose weakness to strength. 'Hosts'—read all chapter VII.
What will be the final result of this contention? Wu Wang—simple and sincere. Read chapter 25. Talked over this a little and made various plans.
11.00 p.m. Opus[1] XI, 31-666-31 [Leah Hirsig]. Operation: brief, owing to cracks in cucurbit stand; but very spontaneous and strong. Elixir: copious; rich, admirable in all ways. Object: control over inferiors.
The cocaine hunger passed away. I will now try another small sniff, feeling as I do after the opus, particularly alert and strong.
Symbol for Jane's [Jane Wolfe] present attitude: [I Ching Hexagram] XXXVII, 'Household', also 'The Oracle of the Sun'. This is exactly what she ought to be.
Will she directly deposit big ah-ah? [I Ching Hexagram] LI. If so, suddenly and of her own motion.
Will our movie partners trip be profitable? [I Ching Hexagram] LXII. The best symbol in the Yi! The way out!! The Bird!!!
11.30 p.m. The sniff has made me extremely lively and energetic. Incidentally, it and the first have helped me to defaecate, and I feel simply great! I now deliberately willed to sleep, and did so at once, very deeply, only waking once to close the doors to the Wild West Wind, the breath of Autumn's being.
1—[Crowley conducts a magical sexual operation.]
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