Aleister Crowley Diary Entry

Monday 16 August 1920

 

 

7.30 a.m. Just awake. Leah [Leah Hirsig] still asleep.

     

4.25 p.m. I felt rotten in the morning—irritable, etc. The things came from Manners;[1] quite a little stuff not stolen by my Brethren and the 'Love of my Life'. Took a sniff of cocaine before lunch, several since. The frequency of the dose has increased as the day has gone on. I have had energy to unpack most of the stuff; and found to my surprise that I was more pleased at finding what I found than annoyed at missing what I missed.

     

Good! The day is of Jupiter, Pluvius badly strictured: heavy, dull, hot. I had started to retouch my Pagoda of Coral and Jade, and hated the upset of the cases coming. I am now tired, anyway, eager to work at something. At bottom, I am very pleased to see my old friends pop up from my Dead Life, for they offer me new Mind-Food which I can make into Semen for my Work.

     

As to cocaine, I started rather in the 'naughty boy' mood, and also in the 'catch-at-a-straw' mood. I hadn't the courage (is it courage?) to shut myself up resolutely and be ill till I got well. We went through 'Odd Boots', Leah, I, and Jane [Jane Wolfe], and made some amendments.

     

5.00 p.m. Began Opus[2] XII—Wand good, but (a) I wish the indefinite prolongation and (b) have a slight fear lest delay or snow [Cocaine] should interfere. It is very hot, too.

     

5.40 p.m. Began the Book 'Leah' the praise of Her, by a poem to invoke Her to inspire me.

     

7.15 p.m. After a pretence of Khana, am at it again.

 

 

1—[Crowley's drug supplier.]

2—[Crowley conducts a magical sexual operation.]

 

 

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