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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Monday, 4 October 1920
Midnight. I continue with the Yi as to my well-loved Jane [Jane Wolfe]. Give a symbol for her present magical stage. [I Ching Hexagram] XII, 'Pa and Ma, not intercourse'. Out of harmony with her own nature. Partly uprooted. Want of understanding of her associates. Patient 'and obedient, though in distress. Ashamed of her subconscious feelings. Acting rightly to cure these maladies, committing no error, her associates happy in her success. Success through humility and persistence. Emancipation to crown all.
Describe the nature of the dangers which threaten her. [I Ching Hexagram] Water of Water, Tui. Desire, pleasure, laziness, inconstancy, mistaking images for realities. Generally speaking, then, the Watery Forces. Indicate her Right Way. [I Ching Hexagram] Lingam of Water, Li, 'The Tiger'. Act boldly, despising danger. Proceed steadfastly without hesitation or turning aside. Make your way level and easy, being quiet and solitary. Don't seek for 'action in the film', avoid judging a question from one side of it. Don't think too highly of your progress. Don't be rash, although fearless. Don't shrink from dangers, but walk warily through them. Be resolute, seek the ordeals. Meditate on your whole Way in the past, and divine its course in the future therefrom.
Describe the nature of her Will in this incarnation, the Goal of her Attainment, Kwei Mei, [I Ching] Hexagram LIV, Fire of Water, Learn: non-action, unselfishness, progress under difficulties, humility, patience, killing 'lust of result'.
Describe the proper means auxiliary to the action of the Elixir to fortify Anu Leah. [I Ching Hexagram] Sun of Fire, Shih Ho: 'Union by gnawing'. Be passionately devoted to her; pay constant active attention; sacrifice comfort etc. for her; make her the symbol of the Glorified Manifestation (Sol) of our Passionate Will (Fire).
Give symbol for my own proper Magical Work for the rest of the month of October. [I Ching Hexagram] Earth of Sun, Pi, Hexagram XXII: 'Ornament'. Work very hard at Art.
Symbol for Alostrael's [Leah Hirsig] work for the same period. [I Ching Hexagram] Moon of Earth, Khien, Hexagram XXXIX: do what seems most difficult (attend to Anu Leah?).
Symbol for our joint IX° work for same period. How to do it? [I Ching Hexagram] Lingam of Fire, Hexagram XXV, Wu Wang. Seek Truth, seek success (reaping), invoke Protection, acquire health, thanksgiving. It's all creative.
Symbol for Ninette's [Ninette Shumway] confinement. [I Ching Hexagram] K[teis] of Sun, Ming I. Might easily mean death.
Symbol for Ninette's child: [I Ching Hexagram] Earth of Air, Ku. A son—troubles—a Work to do-an independent character . Symbol for my next new picture. Moon of Water. Moon-Water, showing the Order of the Universe. The Symbol for Object of our IX° Work till end of October. Wu Wang again! I think this means to develop moral excellence in ourselves, and to initiate ourselves through it.
1.25 a.m. Talking with Leah [Hirsig]. I've just understood her vision of the Temple. It is the High Priestess, the Moon, (CCXX, I: 'She is a moon') white and silver, between the Pillars. She wouldn't have any other symbols, naturally; she is the Goddess, the Oblation, and the Altar.
2.40 a.m. I had no craving for cocaine at all through all September, but I seem to fall into the 'alternate night' habit quite easily now it is to my hand again. However, the action and reaction both seem quite dissimilar, physically and mentally, from August experience. I am not so parenthetical and expository, a 'bitter-ender' of argument; and I'm not so much affected in my nerves. I'm not so anxious about its effects. The month's 'wagon' has given me confidence. But I still want to go on to a limit dose when I start. I'm still impatient to get a Masterpiece for my pains, though not nearly so much. I don't suffer from exhausting sweats during the absorption, or worry about making up for lost sleep afterwards, as I used to do. I'm taking it easier all round, in fact. But I still smoke pipe after pipe as before, only I keep them all alight better.
9.00 a.m. I have just finished a Madrigal and a Sonnet-Sequence for Leah; so the night has not been wasted.
8.30 p.m. 'Womanhood is a secret vice' (after a long talk with Jane). Was it not Jesus Christ who said of Editors, 'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do'? P.S. Womanhood is first a mere lack like idiocy. It only becomes a vice if its reality is shirked.
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