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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Saturday, 23 July 1921
2.35 A.M. Awoke after a deep sleep of Siloam of some hours, during which many Mysteries were revealed to me.
I note "Who sorroweth is not of us"—This may mean that the phase LA of the original Stuff "31" contains the idea of sorrow, and so has the wish to manifest as AL—I also note "Argue not" may mean "Keep on discussing LA"; "covert not" transform LA into AL; "talk not overmuch say that LA is superior to POLLA"
I also note that this principle of exegesis should revive the old-fashioned Christmas fireside games; it is suited to the Nonconformist lower-middle-class intelligence—and to it alone. Aiwaz would economize badly if He were to be making puns on any occasion where there is not a clear need in the text for some such interpretation. Well said He "Lest there be folly" etc.
After tiffin Frater Genesthai [C. F. Russell] appeared suddenly, called "Aleister Crowley" in a loud brusque manner, flung his bag at my feet, and went off laughing wildly—He seemed quite insane. In the bag was his "record", an incoherent jumble of crazy and violent cries. It is the inflamed ago which screams discordantly. He has no sense of proportion, and so mixes the planes that he attaches real importance to the number of handfuls of dirt he finds in his hovel, etc, instead of using them as a mathematician uses 4 in the course of an equation, a useful means of aiding the reason to attach a rational account without implication of a Fourth Dimension in fact.
He is reacting against me, Alostrael [Leah Hirsig], and "Jesus Stansfeld Christ" [Charles Stansfeld Jones], and the A∴A∴ i.e against the psychanalytic forces that have probed his Amfortas-wound. But he is a fine fellow, and I am glad to have been able to strip him of his sheaths so thoroughly in so short a time.
At Vespers I directed the Invoked current to help him through the last night of his exile. I should explain, by the way, how it all came about. On Monday, expecting Fra∴[Frater] Progradior's [Frank Bennett] arrival, a room was required. This Brother is Genesthai's superior both in A∴A∴ and O.T.O. ESTAI [Jane Wolfe] offered her own room spontaneously, and Genesthai heard her. I refused her fine example—which would have left him in his room, of course!—he came roaring that Genesthai's room was necessary to his "WORK". I told him that his attitude had settled the issue, and that his room was to be prepared for Progradior at once. He swore that this should not be, so I gave him till my return from bathing to clear out, or be shifted at the butt-end of my boot. Thus faced with firm correctness, the brute was cowed, and whined "I don't want to make trouble". Later, I made 5.55 P.M. the exeat, suspending him from the Abbey until Vespers on Sunday next. He whirled away up the Rock, determined to be a martyr: (a) I have not been strict about keeping people to the proper Tasks of their grades, as in Liber 185. (b) I have let suspicious symptoms pass unchecked. (c) I have not applied analysis as I should, to show how the ego is the origin of every possible error.
10.40 P.M. Opus[1] 31-666-31 [Leah Hirsig]. Op[eratio]n Very intense and ecstatic. Golden kisses. El[ixir] Admirably prepared and of excellent strong sweetness. Obj[ect] To bring the "rich man from the West". The Stone was applied to this verse in CCXX on the altar, to the Gold on the Disk, and to our own bodies.
I may mention that people are getting a good deal out of Vespers. Progradior saw Pan tonight, while Alostrael and Mary [Mary Butts] saw blue lights. Last night Mary got a huge Assyrian-Bull demon, and Alostrael a Crocodile-Dragon-Dog. Maitland [Cecil Maitland] and I both heard during the Mantra to Pan tonight, the Voice of an Other and not of any of the human celebrants of the Orgie. We have all of us on several occasions heard alien voices; I especially recall myself being echoed for two complete lines of the Anthem. Alostrael once heard a Voice "which compares with a human voice somewhat as Your Magick Bell does with any other bell". Several of us have seen more or less "physical" things of various kinds; and there have been one or two 'poltergeist' phenomena of a minor type. I have myself gone into trance of one sort or another on numerous occasions, and some of the others have been so near that the only bar has been their ignorance of the knack of "letting themselves go" at the critical moment.
We are still 'shy', though taking our phantom-forms seriously—as though a shadow should blush to find itself among echoes! We none of us care to "dance before the Lord". Mary and Maitland are even so bad that they do the Pentagram all wrong, though they know it quite well. They must be trained to shamelessness by making them realise the symbolic and unsubstantial character of their phenomenal selves. The moment we can all forget our silly projections, we shall be able to work freely together to express our united Will to establish the Law of Thelema. We are all pretty keen on it, I feel sure, in our inmost hearts. I blame myself, once more; I still feel shame and reluctance to prostitute myself in public to Genesthai, for example, or even to fuck my Whore. I am afraid of looking ridiculous, of failing to excite my lover or myself, nay, even of "shocking" the audience. I fear also to upset the dignity of the Ritual. I think I should set the example by overcoming this inhibition, and asking others to imitate me.
I ask the Yi for a symbol: what shall I do to overcome the obstacles to success in ceremonial Invocation? (31-666-31 forms the figure). [I Ching Hexagram] Luna of Sol LXIII Ki Zi. Attend to details of ritual, and to make it wholly automatic and spontaneous, and perfectly harmonious and unconscious expression. Unite male and female, but take care that the actors are fit for their work.
Give a symbol for the success of the Operation of the performed by us tonight. [I Ching Hexagram] Fire of K[teis] XVI Yu—Harmony and satisfaction. Thwan—start a campaign (to attract him).
[Line] 1. Don't talk about it as if it were done. [Line] 2. Act as if we are sure of success. [Line] 3. Analyse the nature of the matter, not looking to the man as if he were conferring a favour. [Line] 4. Promise the man success in his own plans. Take care that he does not become suspicious. [Line] 5. Keep on as we have done so far, and trust our luck from day to day to live somehow. [Line] 6. Live for the one Purpose only; be ready to adapt ourselves to Opportunity.
1—[Crowley performs a magical sexual operation.]
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