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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Tuesday, 14 February 1922
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law
I, Baphomet 666, wishing to prove the strength of my will and the degree of my courage have poisoned myself for the last two years and have succeeded finally in reaching a degree of intoxication such that withdrawal of the drugs (heroin & cocaine) produce a terrible attack of the “Storm Fiend” [asthma]. The acute symptoms arise suddenly, usually on awakening from a nap. They remind me of the “For God’s sake turn it off” feeling of having an electric current passing through one, and of the “Super-structure” of the Baltoro Glacier. The psychology is very complex and curious: I think a detailed record of my attempt at breaking the habit will be interesting and useful.
3:40 PM. Left Paris for Fontainebleau. Put up at Au Cadran Bleu.
Walked before dinner. No alcohol.
Heroin & Cocaine at odd times till 8 P.M.
Difficult to sleet. [N.B. Part of my plan in coming here is to dig up the bitter memories which have been killing me. I was so happy and hopeful here two years ago; and now my little Poupée has been dead over a year and her little brother never came to birth; and my manhood in part is crushed]
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