Aleister Crowley Diary Entry

Thursday, 29 March 1923

12.15 A.M. No impulse to [Heroin]. Still rather wakeful.

Sleep 12.30 to 1.30 woke: sweat not severe. Will try 1/2 L[uminal]. Done: but spasm of coughing, running at nose, dyspnoea etc urge [Heroin]. My object being to see whether it is possible to avoid distress of this sort (1), I gracefully take [Heroin] 1.50 A.M. (2.7. Lea [Leah Hirsig], suddenly: "Poor fish instead of Mr. Bush"!! Good-looking soldier—doesn't like Alex Harvey's outlook on life———!!!) (gap 6 .50) (2)

8.40 Woke rather cold and very sneezy [Heroin]. Hot water bottle, coffee etc.

11.20 sneezing, nose-running, bad smell and other signs of abstention. [Heroin] (3). Temp 98.6.

1.4 Hamburg steak, artichoke, bread, milk. 2 A.S. In utter despair of boredom.

1.10 [Heroin] (4). Note: there is so much nose-running that much h [Heroin] must be lost (5).

3.30 [Heroin]. (Bored). Painted.

4.30 166 [Cocaine] to test ability to keep to one go, small hard incomplete motion.

5.40 Feeling good: want more 166 [Cocaine]: NO. Temp 98.6.

6.10 The 166 [Cocaine] is making me very uncomfortable: (6) [Heroin].

7.0. Took an enema about 6.40: still holding it: have enjoyed a perfect euphoria, talking to my heart's love Alostrael [Leah Hirsig] about various literary projects—I hope helping her to forget her physical pains (she has mysterious aches in the loins etc) for the time being.

7.17 Sketching: enema still inactive. Colon massage: n[o] g[ood]. Q[uer]y: is the reaction from the 166 [Cocaine] anaesthetizing the muscles?

7.30 Direct effort expelled most of the fluid—no solid—in a very inert and unsatisfactory way.

7.45 Omelette—anchovy toast—chocolate—orange.

8.10 Am tired—bored—irritable as usual.

9.30 [Heroin] on usual ground. (7) as to night's rest etc: delayed till now to increase average gap to 2 3/4 hr. Sorry it's over (6), though: if I could only do an honest day's work, mental or physical, and tire myself properly! No good gap today: and no good excuse. I am somehow disheartened—probably from not having done a stroke of decent work all this time. I feel already how trying this plan of slow diminution is, and am tempted to quicken up.

11.0 Temp 98.3. Have been scratching Leah since 9.35! Very pleasant.

11.50 All's well!

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