Aleister Crowley Diary Entry
Saturday, 16 June 1923
Die Saturn
Trance in a.m. (due to [Heroin] abstinence?) II, 58. The analysis showed that the Khu was a permanent thing—to which various adventures happen. Disguised King as in fairy stories. ‘Science’ is not investigating real things at all—I’ve lost the thread of the Trance—curse it!
1.50 p.m. Astronomy shows an infinite diversity of modes of existence—even defining an existing being as one whose habitat is the skin of a star or planet. We deny consciousness to other forms of matter solely because we cannot communicate with them. Note the tendency to deny humanity to a ‘frog-eating Johnny Crapuad’ because we cannot understand his lingo. The next question would be ‘What is an individual?’ This question is sophistical, being based on a petitio principii. We think a man’s body is a unit, chiefly because it seems to act as one in the matter of moving about. It is really a function of any star to decide arbitrarily what shall count as ‘I’ to him. That is the magical power—to extend one’s kingdom as one will over distant spheres like snowflakes & Sirius, & distant planes like the analysed ideas that I have been seeing lately, & the realms corresponding to abstract words such as Beauty or Tragedy or Self-control. It is evident that limitation—‘Restriction’—is the great άμαρτια for it denies the Law of Thelema in the deepest sense, the right of any other star to exist.
Lead Thou me, Aiwass, in the Way of Wisdom!
(Instantly having laid down my pencil it flashed upon me, without adding words up,—except to note that the simplest literal value of 453 was ουγ—that the idea of Sin must be identical with that of Woman. Now ήάματια = The sin = γυνη a woman!)
Φιαλη = 549 & 8 = 557 = Urn as well as vial. Φιελη = 553. N.B. Never a measure, i.e. infinite space, plus 8 = 561 = 3 X 17 X 11. Fιαλη = 55 = Malkuth = 11 x 5 the magical power of the woman (who is [vav], 5).
Probably opposed to veil (II, 52).
Φαxος = lentil 791 οxαυλος = cabbage 791 Φαxη dish of lentils 528 plus 8 = 537 Φαιπος evil, poor, sorry, mean. 1201. Φηλος knavish 808 (= εγω!!!) αιελας = 276
Note that I, 41 & III, 55 are explained in Liber 418. It is all this question of Death, shutting up, refusal to Love. That is ‘restriction’. (Cf. the ruin when the Graal is not unveiled.)
5 p.m. One of my worst άμαρτια has been (from my shyness, Γυνη again!) to fail to act according to my Kingship. In future I shall issue orders without explanation:
Alostrael [Leah Hirsig] will cause them to be executed. O.P.V. [Norman Mudd] transmitting them will explain when necessary.
I will be really unapproachable (in my kingly functions, of course) & exact due homage. I will regard myself as travelling incognito, so far as ordinary people are concerned, but be august as to those with whom I am in magical relations. Met Shabmodar on board—‘love at first sight’. He is Energy incarnate; I shall use him to set various small matters going. My work [XI°] with him will aim at the overcoming of those defects in myself & external obstacles which have prevented me from coming into my Kingdom as The Beast.
[Question:] Lay down the main principles for the Magical preparation for the writing of the Comment.
[Phallus/Earth]
Big Air. RENUNCIATION. (Of all other aims, I suppose.) Balance firmness & elasticity. Line 1. Wind up all other affairs. [Line] 2. Take Oath of utmost power. (My insanity Oath above is part of it.) [Line] 3. G.M.R. [Greater Magical Retirement] under rigid Oath. Alostrael & others to help to enforce it. [Line] 4. Don’t seek to avoid discomfort in G.M.R. [Line] 5. G.M.R. [Line] 6. G.M.R.
Remarks: Create from material environment. Transmute Earth into the word 93.
Essence of all this: G.M.R. such as I have never done before.
LXV, iv, 61-63.1 This journey is now imminent. Describe my assistants in this G.M.R.
[Earth/Moon]
Young & ignorant people with disciplinary virtues. Thwan: Volunteers. Line 1. A mentor. [Line] 2. A loving woman or a new disciple, paying the expenses of G.M.R. [Line] 3. A whore. [Line] 4. An ignorant servant. [Line] 5. A lad. [Line] 6. One who would bully the lad: 666 to protect him (i.e. the lad).
[Line] (1) might be O.P.V. [Norman Mudd] or Fuller [J.F.C. Fuller]. Someone to keep 666 from breaking his Oath. [Line] (2) might be Alostrael, Wesrun [Dorothy Troxel] or some new chela. Neuburg [Victor B. Neuburg] might possibly fill the bill. [Line] (3) Alostrael or some other whore. [Line] (4) The camel man or camp servant. Note that he will cause trouble. [Line] (5) The Pure Fool, possibly useful as a clairvoyant. Might be a mere child or at least a bull virgin. [Line] (6) Might be the father or boss of this boy. An ill-tempered and overbearing man, whose main object seems to be to put obstacles in every one’s way. Probably the camp servant.
I think there should be 3 chelas:—Alostrael, a man, & one other. I keep on coming back to the idea that Dorothy Troxel is meant. The other 3 impress me as being natives.
Indicate the Encampment of LXV, iv, 61-63.
[Sun/Air]
The Cauldron. Realization of mental image, i.e. find it by clairvoyance (or search memory). The cauldron suggests the crater of a volcano or dried up Chott. In line 1 it is overthrown. This means that its drying up has ruined the city. ‘The concubine whose position is improved by the position of her son.’ This might indicate the city through historical allusion—say a city founded by a bastard. [Line] (2) There are eatables in the cauldron. It has now struck me that Nefta is the place. The Corbeille is like a huge cauldron & it is full of date-palms. LET NO MAN [K]NO[W] WHERE I AM GONE! [Line] (3) Quite obscure. [Line] (4) The cauldron’s feet are broken & its contents spilt. The Cauldron at Nefta—note the hot springs in it—is broken on one side, so that the streams flow out. They are lost in the desert. [Line] (5) The Cauldron has yellow ears & rings of metal. This suggests houses about it, as is the case at Nefta. [Line] (6) The Cauldron has rings of jade. This suggests the wealth of vegetation as at Nefta.
Note Nephthys, the Goddess of Perfection. ‘As for bridal will I come bedecked and anointed. There shall the Consummation be accomplished.’ Note Nepheris, a Carthaginian city. Note Neph = 555 & connected with cloud, nebula, Sanskrit Nabhas, heaven. (555 is the ‘Secret Womb’ proper to conceal 666.)
3 [Heroin] in all. A comfortable day.
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