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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Monday, 23 July 1923
Die Luna
Sun enters Leo. I begin my Little Magical Retirement called Sui, leaving La Marsa at 5.20 p.m.
Reading La Collier de la Reine. (CCXX, II, 66. I have noted long since that p. 4 may predict a public death amid the rejoicings of my enemies.)
11.35 p.m. Back at Hotel Eymon, Tunis from Cinema. I find I cannot follow the mere events of a speeded-up knockabout film. Le maitre des faunes had some fine animal pictures—showing protective coloration. This morning I practically broke down reading The Titanic. That is my real name: TEITAN. I am for the Children of Earth—for Man—against the Gods. I don’t try to dodge the Sorrow of the World: I swear to master Fate. This is the Master-Key to my poetry. It is part of my conception of the Universe as Going or Energy. The most passive thing in Nature seems to me in strenuous action. ‘The dunes Lift up their faces . . .’ etc. Throughout, in every line, I imply that Energy is Delight. Thus the ‘modest woman’, the mother, is to me a symbol of defeat & death: the Scarlet Whore who rides the Great Wild Beast, who drains the Blood of the Saints into Her Cup, who is ‘adulterous’, demanding change, is Victory & Life.
11.44 p.m. Let me consider my state at the beginning of Sui.
1. My general health, nerves & all, is very much better.
2. I have gone back to [Heroin], but the worst of the fear is gone.
3. I must be alone if I am to conceive or create. The presence of any other person in my circle—the dearer & more intimate the worse it is—acts as a total inhibition. For I am content to work with that person; also, I feel that he or she might disturb me if I begin a big thing, & simply to say ‘Keep away’ would stop me through fear of failure to produce justification.
4. Lines 2 & 3 of Sui seem to urge me to begin an XI° working (The prologue to La Collier de la Reine suggests this too. It is quite time for me to use the Elixir readily & properly. Cagliostro is made to discuss the question very sensibly; also, his account squares with the doctrine of the O.T.O. & with my own experience). But these lines certainly bid me act like a school-boy on a holiday. I propose to take an Oracle for the L.M.R. [Lesser Magical Retirement] & to ask definite questions about XI° & Hamman-Lif (lines 1, 4, & 5—the English at Hamman-Lif).
ORACLE: LXV, V, 7 ‘proud’ (The Comment on LXV has got just to this verse!) Meaning: I shall proclaim Hoor-in a poem, I imagine. I shall find a girl to love. The test is somewhat obscure: the event should enlighten mine understanding.
Shall I seek associate or associates for IX° or XI° or both? If so, describe such; & advise as to method. Object & Result.
Earth[/Earth]
Thwan:? I cannot in any way interpret this symbol. I felt, while manipulating the sticks, that my concentration was bad: that my question was too complex, &c. I will rest, worship Hadit, ad hoc, & repeat. Differently!
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