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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Thursday, 26 July 1923
Die Jupiter
11.20 a.m. Slept clock completely round.
1.20 p.m. I am coming round to real ease: beginning to realise that I am ‘afloat in the Æthyr’ not falling through it!
1.44 p.m. Given the absolute respect for, wonder at, & delight in, all qualities soever, there remains no motive for deception, with all the confusion of thought, waste of time, & risk of discovery that it implies. More, Jove becomes universal: there is no room for hate.
2 p.m. It is sure that Frater O.P.V. [Norman Mudd] has saved my reason & even my life by his intervention. I shall mark my sense of his conduct by dedicating to him the first book that I publish: I shall mention him in the Hag [The Confessions of Aleister Crowley]: I shall write a poem actually to him.
2.22 p.m. G.S. [General Statement] for today’s visit to Hamman Lif (Complete Message of Gods).
Earth[/Kteis]
Couch &c. ‘Coagula!’ ?Symbol a Pylon no less than a couch? In my case Per feminam, victoria!
10.22 p.m.
CCXX, II, 77 & III, 55, etc. Confusion of terminology. (Meditation based on [La] C[ollier] de la R[eine] III, 39. ‘L’orgueil ui courronne la chastite’ ruins Marie Antoinette).
What does CCXX teach about ‘pride’? We know it to be the most dangerous & deadly quality of all—see Work of 8º = 3o—yet CCXX urges us to be proud. The solution must be as follows.
There is a pride which says: I AM THAT I AM as opposed to the I AM of Choronzon. The wrong pride is ‘I am better than others’ thus ‘making difference’ (CCXX, I, 22, &c) & denying sovereignty to others, diminishing one’s Self by excluding others, & breaking the Law of ‘love under will’. Chastity evidently makes this same restriction on another plane. In all cases, one shuts one’s self up, opposes the tendency of change. Falsehood means consciousness of two things. For all truth may be written ‘A is B’ for ‘love under will’ is expressed A plus A = CC, the [IHV) formula or A plus B = 0 (0 being one of the ‘Zero’ elements of 0° Nuit as CC, is one of the ‘Two’ elements of Her whose value is ‘None & two’). Chastity refuses to unite A & B either to create (Magick) or dissolve (Mysticism).
Observe that A plus B involves A’s recognizing B as identical with itself & only imagined as separate by virtue of the very illusion created ‘for the chance of union’. Pride denies this: A believes itself superior to B. Hence restriction in idea, expression, & action.
Follows ‘that state of manyhood bound & loathing’. A is imprisoned with a detested & despised B; it cannot escape from the realization of B’s existence, & demands the annihilation of B as its sole release. Evidently ‘love under will’ is the only way out: hence pride & are the foulest & most fearful enemies of the soul.
Note in Comment: how The Scarlet Whore, riding upon The Beast, is Going, drinking the life blood of the Saints, adulterous, the Lady of Change, of Energy, of Life: while the ‘modest woman’, ‘Mary inviolate’ is shut up, stagnant, impotence, & death.
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