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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Monday, 4 February 1924
Die Luna. I have not missed this diary! Been more or less ill all the time. Have struck a doctor with brains at very long last—Dr Jarvis [Dr. Charles Jarvis].
Die Saturn. [2 February] Met ? at Lavenue’s at a little before 2. (French for VII and he out of Sodom and te) (like what follows apple—the feminine of Ch.Ch. with the $1,000,000 manner). Adjacent! [Alphonsin Charlotte?]
Well, I’ve no initiative left, or I could do a good stroke for 92.
Sol. [3 February] Voorhies [Rousseau Voorhies] par. In N.Y.H.
Goldsmith—only really string chess-player at [Café de la] Régence and I have struck up a kind of friendship.
My sleeping is very poor—wrong hours—and my waking barren of all creative worth. But—I am being born into some new world. I had a big Vision last night (Sol) during an odd 5 minutes with Ethel [Ether], in which the Law was demonstrated lucidly as a necessary principle of human thought—the one way of reconciling all antimonies. Also, I found myself as “I love”. So something is going to happen pretty soon.
Meanwhile I’ve been having a really rotten time. If I could write one poor bawdy Limerick it wouldn’t be so bad! I suppose the truth is that I am more or less inhibited by my more or less formal Magical Oath to fix my fortunes (so that the Law can be properly established) first of all. Otherwise, I’m incubating something bloody big! But oh! How deep the darkness and how cold the way! (Tried just now to do Samekh. Broke down at Exordium!) Shit!
11.44 approx[imately]. Ethel [Ether] I make the / Magical Oath / of / SILENCE / (Many Mysteries revealed. E.g. “Silence and Laughter id the secret of Death”).
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