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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Tuesday, 26 February 1924
die Mars.
Hail unto Ra!
Couldn't sleep. Mental excitement of divers types, but all grosser than the fine flame I have been in.
Note: still undue secretion (very thick) in nose and throat. Gave up, wrote this, and rang for brekker [breakfast].
Will now note any doses ag[uarius] [Heroin] I take. Can't measure exactly, unless I use dropper, wh.[ich] is a nuisance. Content to say large or small acc. size of cotton wool. 1. 7.18 1 large.
7.45 a.m. Have been thinking out my Will, now it has been purified by Fire. Assume that I obtain at once the required Energy to effect my projects. I am to eschew the least tendency to action, especially the violent and vigorous action natural to my Leonine character.
I am now to construct patiently a model of society. The scale must be larger than Cefalu. I am to refuse no material soever. Nor may I reject any after trial, save in the most dire extremity: for that action would imply that such types must be exterminated from the earth.
M. Butts [Mary Butts]. The extreme of selfish vanity and idleness. C. Maitland [Cecil Maitland]. The extreme of unmanliness. H. Fraux [Helen Fraux]. The extreme of old-maidish malice. C. Russell [C.F. Russell]. The extreme of jejune obstinacy.
were ejected from Cefalu. This was no doubt in part a defect of my administration. (I am the limit of self-accusation these days, by the way; it comes out at every turn) One "excuse" is the desperate straits in which we were: but the Thelemic system should be strong enough to tackle all situations soever. Another is that owing to our small numbers, the percentage of poison was too large to be turned into food): so we had to vomit it. Note, however, that the U.S. Navy couldn't stomach Russell! Mary Butts wouldn't be tolerated, apart from her income, anywhere on Earth outside a brothel; while Maitland was actually thrown out of everywhere till she rescued him. and even then he tried to give humanity a dose of mustard and water! As for Helen Fraux, the type is all too common; and it is the curse of every family where it exists. It survives (although sterile, it is always being formed by failure) for its use in drudgery; for no one feels bad at being unkind to it.
10.40 a.m. On brink of going to sleep, sudden attack of coughing, with hard breathing, flushing, and peculiar mental perturbation of the kind that sends one flying for refuge. 1 1/2 Sm[al]l aq[uarius] [Heroin].
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