7 March 1925 - Crowley Diary

Aleister Crowley Diary Entry

Saturday, 7 March 1925

Mar 7/25. 8.20 (Vision starts at 8.45) to 9.31. Time 46 minutes.

Vision 4. Astrid [Dorothy Olsen] with Stele and Star Sapphire on her brow

Preliminary

8.20. General conversation.

8.27. Ringing in ears (after rum).

8.35. Rum.

8.41. Fanget an—thought by the scribe)

8.42. I want to get something good to-night. I wish you would tell me how to get away etc.

(Advice—"go right in".)

8.45. Don't be impatient. I can see a huge moon with a ring around it's sort of fluctuating. I see it and I don't see it. I don't know where I am. I don't seem to be on the roof. I don't seem to have any feeling at all—my ankle doesn't hurt, my knee doesn't hurt. I'm very detached.

I've gotten out of here and I've walked down as far as that cactus field. You know that? That road. It's lively moonlight. Here comes my snake. Same snake. He wants me to go some place. He says if I lie down and take hold of his neck he'll take me there. It's too silly, You all think I'm crazy, don't you? He can go fast.

Oh I'm going fast, fast, fast, all the time—just streaks of lightning. And I have to hang on to this snake because—he's faster than the 20th Century. We went past the Temple—we're going faster. There are those two birds again. My God (Scribe doesn't get the next two words but thinks they were "they're going with us").

Keep going, going, going. Oh it's such a long way but it's all half dark. Now he's stopping. He wants me to go along with him. But it's a funny thing. It's full moon here—it's not full moon where I am. Why is that?

9.56. Oh I'm in the courtyard of something like some of the houses in Pompeii—pillars—it couldn't be a church—high pillars. It's too dark. I can't tell the colours and there are queer figures like on the Stele here. Here comes a beautiful woman. She smiles and holds out her hands to me. The snake laughs and beats his head on the ground. The woman kisses me—both my cheeks and my forehead. She's got me by the hand. She holds my hand. She can't speak to me, I can't speak to her.

(Note. Means Astrid challenged the woman with the words 'Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law'. T)

She doesn't know that. She's very friendly. She wants me to have a bath—that's it—and she's giving me a beautiful robe of green all embroidered in silver. Oh, that's a funny courtyard—rooms and rooms. I must have this bath. Of it's very, (sic T) They're all so nice to me; even the servants. They bring me sandals and slippers and gorgeous robes and incense burning wherever you go.

They're all at my feet. What is it? I must splash round this water. But I must go. Now they want me to have something to eat. Two men look exactly alike—and a nice woman dressed in gold. The two men kiss her—spears and shields—leopard skins—all supposed to eat together.

Leah [Leah Hirsig], do you know the Cassa Vetti, Looks like the Cassa Vetti in Pompeii. Long table cloth—gold. Bring all sorts of things—tress etc. to make a long table; very primitive. Everybody flying around—terrible uproar. Place full of birds. I don't know what I'm doing. They all make such a fuss.

Makes them laugh. All too happy. I must talk to this one man. He looks at me in such a knowing way. "What is it all about?" "You know enough".

My God—a lion on a gold chain. Table set—lion dancing under the table. Roaring. I am not afraid of him. I'm going to talk to him.

He just thinks it funny and doesn't pay any attention to me. No, I can't go out—they don't want me to. I belong to this place; been away so long; I have to stay here. One man stamping his foot—shake—argue and argue. The man says I'm going to have a fight about it.

To stop them fighting. They say I have to behave myself now that I'm home. It took them a long time to get me home. Same tone of voice as my father.

9.08. Oh this is nice. Where did all these beautiful gold dishes come from? The snake—he's here too. I can't tell all I see—too many—all beautiful. Pillars—funny Egyptian curtains, silk, copper colour—too beautiful. Here I am—barefooted and nothing on except the funny little chemise I went out with. They say "Don't bother about that". Star Sapphire (on her forehead. T) They like that; they seem to know it.

Now we have to eat. Can't get away from this place at all. That woman in white—she must have to look after the place—don't know who she is at all. She's clever—showing me a scale now. You (? A.C. ? T) on one side, something on other. I'm too heavy—stones on one side. Stones and fruit. Which do you want. Rather have stones. She is very satisfied. Pats me on the back like an old pal. Snake—his head around ankle to look after me. So many people coming in. Don't know what to say to anybody.

A man I know I can trust—not as if I have always known him. He knows me too. He needn't be so important either. What's the matter with him? Thinks he'd better talk to me.

"You didn't always think that" is his answer. They don't like him. Champagne all of a sudden. No ice coolers but looks like champagne.

9.16. Can't tell what this man says. I know him now. Must have known him a long time. He says my eyes are still the same; very wicked now, not as wicked as they were. I haven't any business trying to find out things; go back an do what I have to do. Makes drawing; silly thing—quill—red ink—two women ? on each side and laughs. Wants to pay me out for I don't know what.

Birds are there and snake. Funny house. Funny hostess—leaves me alone; everybody else leaves too. Can't eat anything—grapes etc. Some slave comes up every once in a while and kneels at my feet. Man wants to pay me out for something—don't know what it is. Shows keystone. He says I have so damn much to learn—still the same. I see his grudge. Bringing up beautiful boy; says this is the son I deserted. I couldn't have done that. I see. I couldn't have done that. "You will have to do what you are supposed to do, no matter what you will." Snake takes me out—they don't want me any more ? I have to go. Snake looks like I shouldn't be so hopeless. Very sad.

Back to old temple. Now the moon is full. Going up long aisle—pillars and pillars everywhere. Beautiful altar, flat, not like any other altars I've seen. No priests—no congregation—no roof but higher then I thought last time. Snake asks me to sit down.

Gold ? Brass ? Bronze ? picking up incense himself and starting to burn it. The 2 birds flapping overhead. Want to purify me or something. Snake stands on tail—goes so high and does everything. Birds flap, peck at his head—now they peck at my head. Oh the snake changed colour—he's yellow—green—blue—he can do anything. The birds say "yes, he can" and flap their wings. He could eat them but doesn't.

Funny place. Snake got me by the back of the neck; throws me over and says "Come on, enough for once". Passed dead city. Snake looks very wisely at city, as much as to say if they had had any sense it wouldn't be dead.

Looks like he said "Mind your own business". Coming home by footpath—along side of room. He says "Good night" I shouldn't go any further than I ought to know". (Sic. T.) Now he's gone. 9.31 P.M.

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