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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Tuesday, 17 March 1925
Mar 17/25. 8 P.M. to 9 P.M. Time one hour.
Vision 6. Astrid [Dorothy Olsen] with Stele.
I feel I'm going a long way and I'm going to get myself properly dressed. A mere wish phantasm; but I have to put on warm clothes.
8.05. I can't seem to get away. I hear the clock ticking and Lea [Leah Hirsig] writing. I must be wrong in some way. Maybe I ought to be in the Buddha position. "Barron [William Barron] is that pounding going on or what ?" Ans[wer] No.
Oh Lea, the whole sky is very beautiful—all purple; iridescent purple. You can see through it and it's very lovely. Still more purple. A perfect maze of purple; lovely.
8.08. I'm much better to-night; I can go all alone. I'm going so high, so high; spinning, spinning, spinning. Oh—I'm getting to a bridge—a long, long bridge. Yes a long bridge but it looks like I'd have to go a long time to go over this bridge. Everything red—red cliffs. Lea, you know those red cliffs down there? All red. I have to go over this long bridge, but there's so little water. (Somebody order some water in the morning.)
The bridge—a great big nigger and he changes himself into black marble. A funny place—everything is queer. There's not anything Grecian—it's all wood. (Tape Stele) this is wood. All done in wood, not stone. It's a vicious place. Must have been a lot of horrible things committed here. Oh no, I don't like it. Terrible things have happened here. Nothing tangible. Help me, Barron, I can't get through.
(Call on Tahuti)
I simply see a big curtain opening—like wings (spreads hands) Don't want to go through—Everybody being killed with knives—everything. People all mixed up. Anybody—pell-mell—Blood everywhere like rivers. I wish they'd stop. I have to hide behind this pillar, they always take a knife and put it through somebody's throat.
Very strange. Not dressed—everything is flying madly. I want to get out of it.
(Call on Tahuti)
Here he comes. He's an angel. He says "These people are fools—this is not the last that is going to happen to them—they are going to be burnt. It's a war—nor a real war—a war of something". Angel says these people have no minds of their own—weak killed.
718 [William Barron] says "Ask Angel to show what will take place when they are all burnt")
He hands plant with leaves and says come along—and I'll go. My God, he's showing me a cage in the Zoo—every kind of animal yelling. Oh, they're all in despair.
93
He thinks that's the idea.
718. "What must be done to establish the Law?"
Shows me same thing as I saw in dream last night. (Last night, not asleep—buzzing in ears—words "The End of the River". The four of us (Barron, Leah, A.C. and Dorothy. T) on a treadmill, Barron thrown off.) Tread-mill. I'm on all alone. There's no place—A treadmill might be even square. Treadmill for me alone. I'm going to nearly die of it.
YZE YEZ ? Now, I have to walk.
93
I have to go on—more red hills—so red. Following angel in my mind—seem to see him in the distance—not quite with him. Oh my God, they're going to kill me somehow—they're going to put a knife in my throat. I don't have to let them. I said 93.
Curious place. It gets light and gets dark. Friendly people in one place, not friendly in another. The whole place is all wrong.
(Call on R[a] H[oor] K[huit]). (Acadua)
Doesn't come—two birds have come back to me. One is on my shoulder, one on other "I have [am?] his daughter" they say. Look vicious when they get up close. We're going awfully fast. Red cliffs, red cliffs. Palm trees. Get the feeling of wood—wood and more wood. I'm getting to a house, all wooden—not stone any more. Everybody is dead. Lots of people. Got mummies and things stuck up on every side. Black wooden statue of a cow. Night time.
(Acadua)
The black cow laughs at me—she thinks I'm another cow.
(Acadua)
I'd be a nice cow too. I tried to pull her tail. She says "No, no—you get a tail". And she's only a wooden cow. She's a nice friendly cow. A funny cow she is but she's so nice. She swishes her tail like she'd like to throw me over her tail.
(Call upon her—try name of Isis)
Leah says she's afraid of cows. I'm not; I don't like bulls. She's getting annoyed now. She's a silly cow, she's licking my fingers.
(Tell her to tell you something)
She shakes her head and appears to say "You'd better find out for yourself". Oh, she seems to know something too. She's got all these funny people—blacker than Arabs. She says I must go out now. No, I won't go. She says I know as much as she does. They're going to take me out. She seems to have some authority. She's not so wooden as she seems.
More wood—statues—like—in the Tower of London. All sorts of things. Being butted out—down the corridor—half light. Worse than the Louvre on a good day. Getting into a room—very square and wide queer pillars, not Greek, not Doric or Ionic—white. Sarcophagus in middle. Better sing your song.
(Acadua)
Oh—the angel—queer patterns—somebody buried here that shouldn't be. The angel isn't fooled. Wrong person in the coffin. BONES—not exactly bones—black hair fingernails, he's a little bit of a man. Very consecrated place. Name begins with an M.
Angel black. He says "not here—in another city". He says I must go back to the desert—further than the desert. Birds coming back. They'll tell me. All red stone—funny place.
8.45 I can't see—Number 11. It's the birds that make the figure 11—flying up and down.
93
I see a huge pillar of red stone like Cleopatra's Needle. Those two birds circling round it. Utter contempt for me yet they seem to take care of me. The whole thing's gone—the obelisk. Back to funny bridge. Not coming home. The birds shake their wings, as if it wasn't worth staying in this place. It's done wrong.
I have to come home. Going through the dark—nothing at end of it. No, I can't tell it's too crazy. I see myself running with a trident. 3 babies on prong. I'm going up. I'm on my way up in the clouds and the black cow has them all. You never saw a cow like this one. She whisked them away in the clouds and groans at me. I'll give her some hay.
718 says "if she doesn't help give her the trident".
She's picking up stuff in her mouth and making She likes me and she doesn't (Sic T). Advice of 718. "Go into fire and say I 'consecrate with fire' ")
Doesn't burn me—feels like having a bath. She's licking me. The 3 babies are gone. They're not burnt in the fire—the cow is there. A man there wants to cut my throat.
718 "Let him do it"
A hell of a storm. Lightning. Now I see the children—they're all right. They wanted my blood. It is still down there.
718 "Look into pool of blood and see if you can read the future in it")
Can't get to it. I'm on this cloud. All alone. I'm sort of spinning around. I seem to be getting number 11 again. I'm on this cloud—going over this red city and the bridge. Better come back. 9 P.M.
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