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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Wednesday, 22 March 1944
[I Ching hexagram] 42.
[Air Raid] Alert 12.45.5.
Guns 12.53.32. V.[ery] heavy.
1.10.40-1.20 circa.
2nd wave 1.39.22-1.43.12. Not so bad.
R.[aiders] P.[assed] 1.52.35.
For Analysis of Blue Funk see Memoranda p 2*.
The return of raids after long lull is pulling people down. That, & bad food. Half a dozen people to whom I have talked agree about this.
9.25.18 Alert.
9.28.1 Guns heavy for one short outburst; then silence. Just a reconnaissance ‘plane dashed up for a dekko: that is why guns began so soon after the alert.
9.53.20 R.P.
* Note for the Bomb shy.
Analysis of Blue Funk. I feel none at all in respect of fire, a great deal about being hit directly by 2000kg H[igh] E[xplosive]. Why? Obvious.
Similar to one’s experience of avalanches & stone-swept gullies. When one can do something, though actually hardly more than in theory, one is all right. But the waiting for an utterly unanswerable blow in unmanning. With disease, one has a similar feeling about paralysis or coronary thrombosis; but this is not pointed by an alert. The ignorant belief in the efficacy of prayer etc. is obviously a great help. Psychologically, varying with the depth of ignorance, lack of logic, & faith in faith. PS Note. “Panic” notably subsides when the guns go off! Slight relapse after RP went! Some logic!!]
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