28 September 1924 - Leah Hirsig Diary

Sunday, 28 September 1924

Bad night. Chest sore.

Waked up at 9.30 by maid knocking on the door.

This is the Third and last time that I know.

It is my Will to live sufficiently long for Jane [Jane Wolfe] to get here and to finish up what I have to do—not by doing it but by leaving it in responsible hands.

The 3 people I mention as my murderers represent the 3 classes that are running present civilization and government.

(a) The man higher up—monied, unscrupulous and vulgar.

(b) The middle-class respectability—"safe" in its possession of an assurance for life. Not vulgar, just ordinary.

The others are at the mercy of all these.

Noon. I should have liked, as a human creature, to have died in the arms of The Beast, 666, who, as will be noted in my very first diary (commencing Mar. 21, 1919) was and is my lover, my mate, my Father, my child and everything else that Woman needs in Man. But I have never interfered with his Work, which was my Work; the Great Work, except in ignorance. But ignorance, where the True Will is established, does good, not harm. All the 'mistakes' made since the receipt of The Book of the Law, Apr. 7, 8, 9, 1904, have worked out in this way. "There is death for the dogs" and "There is success".

And His Work is not to be with me at the joyous moment of my life except as he is and has been always with me.

I write this not for the vulgar, and rely entirely on my Magical Son, Frater O.P.V. (Norman Mudd) to preserve and use this my Diary and all other documents by me to this end:

As a corner stone to the Establishment of the Law of Thelema.

Let there be nothing sensational—yet use any or every thing to its fullest extent. And as noted before, for preservation, there must be no changing of even a single letter.

Remarks by The Beast or by my son should be made as foot-notes or appendices.

The Age of Sensationalism is over—The New Age will have a sensationalism based on Truth.

The Law of Reversal—Frater Achad [Charles Stansfeld Jones] has done his Work. Now let him join the Brethren in whatever capacity he is needed. Babalon speaks.

I die cold and anhungered in body but I have achieved Hadit. Thus is the Prediction of CCXX — III — 43-45 fulfilled on all planes. (Sept. 29—There is something wrong about this—My body tho' cold for a long time and starved has been made warm and fed by the kind people here.)

On	Wednesday	night, Sept. 24 e.v. I prepared for Death. But I could not go for I had more work to do.
On	Thursday	the Dr. "assured" me that I should not die. Poor fool.
On	Friday	I once more prepared but still I had something to do.
On	Saturday	I made such arrangement as I thought necessary and decided to wait.
On	Sunday	(to-day) I became finally resigned to leave all in the hands of the Gods.

I hope to die on Monday—for "she is ever a moon" (P.S. misquoted) but I am entirely at the Will of the Gods. I shall have strength to keep the body active till all has been properly arranged. I do not even any longer wait.

And now I quote no longer, and I command Thelemites to refrain from doing so in the future.

Babalon speaks:

1. Thelemites die without aid except that of the Gods.

2. Thelemites will be permitted to die or live as they will.

3. Thelemites will not quote from the Book of the Law, for their Brethren will understand.

4. Thelemites will have the Book of the Law and its Comment to guide them.

5. Thelemites are born and not made.

This is the correct order—

(Beast will want to edit this so I'll do it for him—The order is DIE so that you may live) Now he can elucidate in the language of the poet.

That is the 5. The Beast 666 will write 6 to make 11. It will be our child.

Much later.

MY WILL TO DIE IS MY WILL TO LIVE. SO THERE IS NO CONTRADICTION AFTER ALL!

9.00 P.M. I noted somewhere (in one of my diaries at 207^[1]) that there should be a link between the passing on of the title Scarlet Woman too the next.

I see it clearly now.

There was no link between any of the previous ones. The first was Equinox Ceremony of Sept. 1919 when there were two words demanded. Ahitha [Roddie Minor] and I were the _____. That made a link. It was with that in mind that I wrote the document to Beast on Sept. 20 (?) of this year. I felt at first that my physical presence was needed. As that was impossible I passed on my Title—badly worded perhaps—but the gesture was the right one.

Let this be noted carefully.

Dorothy's [Dorothy Olsen] child will be a son now that Parsifal knows how to use his lance.

Note that The Beast has had no sons—his physical children have all been daughters—the one nearest to it was my miscarriage.

Yes, there must be a voluntary passing on of the title S.[carlet] W.[oman].

The Month of May for the past 5 years.

May 18 (?)	- 1919.	Poupée conceived—Esau and Jacob.
May 18 (?)	- 1920.	Little boy conceived. The purpose of the Operation was Kismet (I think that's the word—it meant luck by the way.)
May (?)	- 1921.	The Big Operation—Ipsissimus. I proclaimed Babalon.
May 1-30	- 1922.	The Diary of a Drug Fiend.
May 1	- 1923.	Expulsion from Italy.
May 1	- 1924.	Expulsion from 50 rue Vavin. Actual birth of Baby Snake.

9 months later.

Feb.	1920	Poupée born.
Feb.	1921.	666 to Paris. Failure of Coephalidium [sic] Working. Sylvia Sullivan. (Premature birth of little boy in Oct./20).
Feb.	1922.	To Paris 666 and Alostrael [Leah Hirsig].
Feb.	1923.	Raoul's [Raoul Loveday] death.
Feb.	1924.	666's rebirth (announced).

5 months after 1.

Oct.	1919.	666 to Ga.
Oct.	1920.	Failure of my oath. Poupée's death and little boy aborted.
Oct.	1921.	Genesthai [C. F. Russell].
Oct.	1922.	666 back to Cefalu.
Oct.	1923.	To the Desert.
Oct.	1924.	MY DEATH? (near enough)

This is all perfectly wonderful.

Note that the 2nd. in each case was an apparent failure. Yet the trick was done just by those apparent failures.

1—[Refers to items belonging to Crowley and Leah that were being held at 207 Boulevard Raspail, Paris, an apartment that had been leased to Dorothy Olsen.]

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