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Marcelo Motta Diary Entry Wednesday, 16 July 1969
Liber CCXXXI: A PERSONAL RESEARCH
About 3.45 pm, begin Invocation of Geni of Dome of Capricornus. Finished all Invocations about 4.40 pm.
Geni of Dome: Entered a dark region where there was a figure. I was supposed to adore it, was intimidated. But I said: "I am that I am." I am Set. And I think I used the Banishing Pentagram of Earth. Then the thought came to me that this will happen in real life all the time ("real" life? . . .): that people will demand that I serve them, when the truth is that they should serve me![1] And then the thought came that I might become overbearing. And I think I invoked B-A-H. But the answer is simple (this is being recorded at night, after going to a movie): "thou hast no right but to do thy will." And the further thought occurs: those who demand that I serve them are the ones that must serve me. For a true King does not beg for vassals, neither cajoles nor threatens them. This is the Law of the stars, the Law of Θελημα.
Then, a gigantic phallus of dark rock rose, and rose, and rose, since I willed to rise. And it entered the Body of Our Lady of the Stars. So I fashioned the Sigil of Nuit, as it has been given me.[2]
(Now, it occurred to me later, in a bus, that this was a visualization of the Sigil of the Geni.)
Then I chanted the Calls of Spirit, with the Seal upon my crown, then anointed it.
Geni of Carcer of Capricornus: Invoked immediately after. Entered a dark region, as it were a "tube" of the London underground (for comparison).[3] A white shape appeared and, as I approached it, I banished it with the Pentagram of Earth. It went to my left, and I was reminded of those "phantom trains" of carnivals of my childhood. I put the Pentagram to my left to keep me protected from it. It took some time vanishing. As it vanished, the "tube" started going down—and down—and down. But the fall was circular, not perpendicular—as if we were following the curvature of the earth. At first I was afraid to go down, but controlled it. "My adepts stand upright", etc. . . . It went down a very long time. I thought this trip is eternal like the other (the one of Sagittarius, the Dome). Then, I seem to have speeded it, assuming the Shape of Set. Arrived at a great cave, flaming inside. My Set shape grew and grew and changed shape, in spite of my efforts. It became gigantic and slightly thick—too thick for Set. But I insisted. Then I put the Seal on my crown and made the Calls. Anointing the Seal, I established Magickal Links with M.'s hair, which I found, and C.'s gift to me of a prize bottle top (soft drink). After establishing the links (thought I had lost M.'s hair, it had merely fallen on the Dome Seal[4]), I had an intuition (or intuitive message? or insight? or hunch?) to put the hair and the bottle top in a separate clean envelope, seal it, and put it away. Which I did, writing the Sigil of Saturn and the Sigil of Capricorn on both sides of the envelope (one side on the flaps). And then I put the Seals away (the intimation or intuition again being to forget about the links) and went to call Diva—who was busy today.[5]
Conclusion: the thing seems too easy. Am I, maybe, deluding myself? I think not. Later again, in bus, thought came to me that Pluto in the cave is really Hadit in the Body of Nuit. It is merely another Point-of-View. And the verse from LXV came to me: "Then I beheld myself compassed about . . ." etc. Any "imprisonment" in which I may find myself in life is actually a Fool's Knot: a necessary stage of my Going. Instead of getting annoyed with my (seeming) chains, I should learn their use—for they are not chains at all. They are the weight of the Waters on the oars of my boat, and by applying pressure to them, the boat moves. It is in this that the Genii of the Carcers should be very useful: to help me get insight into the situation.
And it occurs to me again that I must expect a succession of "free" moments—when I have given the rowing impulse—and of "imprisoned" moments—when it is time for the next rowing. Until the boat acquires sufficient momentum, or until I get into the stream?
But I am always in the stream! But there is, of course, the Play of the Waters.
And now that I've written all this I feel sleepy and tired, which I wasn't before. I was sexually excited and dreaming about C. on the bus. But I performed the Star Ruby after I got home. Maybe it is my neck—will do traction in a little while.[6] Will eat, first. Or vice-versa.
1—This thought is not sufficiently well-expressed. The insight was that people would interfere with me, demanding that I serve them—and if they did so, they were the ones that should serve me: their attitude was entirely due to magickal psychological projection. 2—Cf. AL i 60 and Liber NV, v. 16. 3—The London subway system is called the "tube" by Londoners, for its semi-circular shape, which is aped by the trains themselves. 4—"M." was a girl the Seer knew, a fellow teacher; "C." was a boy, a fellow Judo student, just in his teens. 5—"Diva" was a mere Pisacha, which the Seer, at the time, believed was a human girl. The talismans mentioned were eventually burned ceremonially and released, though much later. 6—During Judo class one year before, the Seer had had two fellow students fall on his neck due to careless supervision of the dojo. He had two slipped cervical disks ever since.
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