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Marcelo Motta Diary Entry Sunday, (date unknown) August 1969
Liber CCXXXI: A PERSONAL RESEARCH
10.45 L.T. [Local Time] Begin preparations for Gemini Vision. Zain—a Sword. At approximately 10.55 pm L.T., start.
About 11.02 pm L.T., finish. Invoking, first saw open path with flowers and butterflies. Then, nothing. Then, by dint of much invoking, saw card The Lovers. Impulse to ask the Hermit Image for help. Then, banished it—I am the Hermit. The help—intuition—must come from B-A-H—from Binah. For this is the Path that joins Binah with Tiphereth. A series of tiresome (because I felt them to be futile) visualizations. And then I came back. Summation: It is B-A-H who must be invoked for help in this matter of mistresses.
Will now invoke Geni of Dome of
11.25 pm L.T.: Singularly insatisfactory. At a moment, began to see vision of the ram, from direction of Boleskine. Banished it. At beginning of the vision, tall white shape before me, but with a black (hooded, of course—shadowed) face. Banished it.
All very hard. Invoked B-A-H, asked for a Sign of Obedience. Still insatisfied. The Intuition seems to be a faculty beyond my control—conscious control? Invoked B-A-H and visualized Sigil of Nuit. Still insatisfied—and spine over Svaddisthana (navel) tingling comfortably at the idea of something "beyond my control"! . . .[1] Very insatisfactory. Nevertheless, will now anoint Seal—in silence—and invoke the other.
Note: Sigil stayed on my head all the time, in spite of many movements.
About 11.44 pm L.T.: Finished Inv.[ocation] of Geni of Qliphah of Gemini. At start, a vulva, open. I fell into it. Then a Hexagram appeared, I seemed to become framed in it, and the whole thing stopped. Will bless the Seal now.
Note: at start, recited verse of AL i beginning "O man! refuse not," etc., to "Hell". During the Vision (Vision??? . . .) also: it seemed the appropriate blessing.
(Follows an analysis of the Geni's name, omitted here.)[2]
1—A certain part of the Seer's personality was happy at the idea of the existence of Force beyond its control: this is a very common attitude among low religionist types, specially Christists, and particularly Roman Catholics. It is the essence of the outlook behind "If God had wanted us to fly, He would have given us wings", and other such. People of this type always oppose science and innovation. The attitude, of course, is deleterious and sado-masochistic in character. Essentially passive (in a bad way), it is characteristic of the slave spirit. It exists in us all. Its root is in the "lunar man" of the Vedic philosophers. It can be traced down to our purely animal inheritance. What marks Man away from other beasts is not intellectual capacity buy Will—the faculty that allows us to change environment to fit out conveniences, rather than the other way around. As the Master Therion himself said, the aim of him who would be Master, that is, a true human being, is single: he wants his Universe to be as vast, and his control of it as perfect, as possible. 2—Obviously, these "visions" are most insatisfactory from the point of view of a beginner or even of the average Adept. But much of what happened during them was mostly the forming of certain links between the Seer's vehicles and the Genii. Certain hints which exist in the Record itself cannot be stressed or explained, for pragmatical reasons. As will be seen later, the Seer revisited many of those Paths, with expanded awareness at each visit. Much of his subsequent magickal work was based on his investigation of Liber CCXXXI. We must advise the beginner, however, not to be satisfied with such "poor" results, should he (or she) get them, but to persist until he (or she) gets something intelligible to a rudimentary magickal consciousness. Nor let "rudimentary" be interpreted negatively. Einstein's awareness of the Universe was less perfect when he was six than when he was twenty years old!
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beginning about 11.07 pm L.T.