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Marcelo Motta Diary Entry Sunday, 31 August 1969
Liber CCXXXI: A PERSONAL RESEARCH
About 0.15 am L.T. [Local Time]: Start preparations to invoke Path of Gimel.
0.17 am: Start. About 0,27 am: finish. Seemed "easy" to get into Vision. Said ABRAHADABRA 11 times, and Banishings; then, invoked and went into darkness bathed by moonlight. The Source seemed to be the S.S. I climbed onto it, passing Strength, the Abyss (by momentum) and Daleth (green horizontal bar!). Dwelt in an Empty Place; forms of Osiris Risen and of Set. The thought (thoughts!) came: Osiris Risen functions as Set. (Now comes to me SET = 60 + 5 + 9 = 70 + 4 = 7 + 4 = 11 = Devil + Empress.)[1] Passed on, and it was the Starry Night; and the verse from Liber VII came unto me: "A great night, and scarce fires therein (the stars), but freedom", etc. Then I bethought myself of the problems of the Personality, or—I don't know what to call it—the Instrument? The Incarnated Ego? None of these expressions suffices anymore. Neither does simply Mark Motta, or Scribe; for it is all these, but more than these. What is it? No matter; whatever it is, it has problems, and will now try to further their solution (solution = dissolution. Complexes, etc.) by invoking the Genii.
Coming back was easy. Note: the difficulty in describing what was down here seems to indicate that all the lower are now a little bit initiated.
About 0.40 am: Start Inv.[ocation]
Geni of Dome of Gimel. About 0.55 am" Finish. At start, a
black knight with a red grinning mouth which turned out to
be the moon (of course). It (the knight) split me in the
middle with his sword. I smiled. Then I assumed several
paraments: the first one, interesting, had a sign like this
About 1.15 am L.T.: finished Inv. of
Geni of Carcer of Gimel; for shame, did not record start.
Invoking, saw a cauldron, at first with Hecate behind; but
this was imagination, not part of the Vision: the cauldron
was alone. Then the cauldron dropped down, down, down,
became very small; I was very far above looking down. Then,
a dark crag opening like this:
Then I called the Name of the Geni for help in the work in the Plane of Manifestation (10th or 9th), and suddenly I was a black triangle (pyramid?) of rock, totally opaque. So, I was right: the circle is "closed" down there, shut tight; but there is a Key missing, since it is open up there. So I called the Geni for help in the Work of the 9th (for it is the 9th that works on the 10th, which is really just an appendage to the Tree); and then for work in Tiphareth, and then for work in all the Ten.
So, it seems I am right; I must keep the Circle tightly closed down here. But the Key of any woman being a help?
It seems to occur to me now:[3] the Circle is the Female; down here, shut tight; up there, open completely; and for the work of the Phallus—which is the Work I must do down here (the Black Triangle of Rock!) any circle—outside, of course—will do. But I must avoid any interference from other "men"—intruding Personal Wills.
Will now anoint the Seal. What is meant is: it does not matter how dirty the Circle is, provided it is its own dirt.[4]
Finished all about 1.40 am L.T.
1—Students are most earnestly warned against adopting this type of numerical analysis as a model of Qabalistic manipulation! the mind of the Seer knows—and knew at the time—that some of those terms were not "correct", and pertain merely to the Seer's interaction between Buddhi and Buddhi-Manas. The word "thoughts!" between parenthesis above is a complaint against the interference of Ruach, couched in telegraphic form. Much of this Record will mislead the student who should take it too seriously, being too idiosyncratic to be useful at large. 2—This is always a problem with Visions. Having a scribe (preferably trained in speed-writing!) or a tape recorder helps those who can verbalize such experiences on the physical plane while undergoing them on another. The Seer often realized, on returning to his body, that he had forgotten parts of his Visions which had been perfectly clear to the astral body's memory. Naturally, the memory persists in the astral consciousness; but this is often not a great consolation to the "scribe" (cf. LXV i 41)! . . . 3—"It seems to occur to me now": the Geni was answering the question by speaking directly in the Seer's consciousness, although the recording Instrument was unaware of this. Those speculations about the Circle "down here", etc., are entirely private and personal; they refer to the Seer's Lamen. 4—Beginning Magicians are most earnestly warned against interpreting the above literally! (Or taking it as the Rule!)
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on forehead. Also these were blinds (I remember now I traced
Water Pentagram and Water Hexagram at the knight, trying for
union, before those figures). So I banished and invoked
again. A castle, or tower, with symbol above. The symbol
seemed to be a cross; I broke it into pieces and replaced it
by an Inverted Invoking Pentagram of Water. I am ashamed to
write that I don't remember what happened next (It was
important, though!).
.
A sort of arch. And a greyish pearly mist in the midst, like
mucus from a sick (?) vulva. (Not maybe just a
lubricating vulva?) Then I fell, deliberately, into this
"Abyss", and the words from LXV came unto me: ". . . into
the darkly splendid Abodes", etc. And then I was inside the
cauldron, and this sign (which I think I had tried to trace
before, right at the beginning, when I caught union with the
cauldron) appeared:
.