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Marcelo Motta Diary Entry Tuesday, 31 March 1970
Liber CCXXXI: A PERSONAL RESEARCH
About 0.45. Try Inv.[ocation] Geni of Carcer of ח again.
I am: Having invoked apparently in vain, used wine (actually, cachaca[1]—I had already used it) and "strange herbs". Very hard to light pipe. First intimation after invoking: ח means fence. "They shall gather my children into their fold."
It seems I have not been fencing them as I should. I am Characith! 79 x 3: (70 + 9 = The Devil + Yesod = The Devil + Lust = The Devil + The Hermit = The Devil + The Zelator = 7 x 10 + 9 and so forth): Somehow, there is a relation with EVER. But 33 is Baphomet, therefore The Devil; and I am manifested in Jesod, and I am a Master of the Temple.
FOLD = 110 or 11 x 10; also FOLD = 46 = 23 x 2. Must see what 23 is.
Will return now. Seem to have solved the riddle. Have I? Ha-ha. Banish vision, 1.25 am. Will not anoint until I am sober. However, it seems I achieved Union with the Geni.
In essence, it is once more an indictment: I am not doing as I should!
Note: used, for the first time in a long time, the secret word, before starting this inv.[2]
Tuesday, 31 March 1970
About 9.45 pm: Invoke Geni of Carcer ח of again.
About 9.55 pm: The Seal approached, I went through it; a path going down—a corridor—down, down, down. At the end, a drop into a blue ocean. Since Cancer is an aquatic sign, I accepted this. Down, down, down. Towards my left appeared a blue gleam: an enormous aquamarine (somehow this brought the aquamarines my sister stole from me[3] to my mind—bad concentration—personal feelings. Ego.) I brought the aquamarine to center, somehow, and "became" it. After a while I started moving through the ocean floor. A new corridor. Insect-like creatures, beetle-like, kept appearing. I went through two. The third crunched me in its jaws. I let it, and the thought came to me, "assain, assoil . . ."[4] Then, the further thought came: I am indestructible. So, I must be fearless. I will die some day—what do risks matter? And then the thought came to me, the way to "gather the children into the fold" is to live strictly in accordance to Θελημα's Law. I must give an example. So I asked for help to do this . . . and abruptly—not abruptly, but a dark, burnt-out globe appeared, and I remembered verses from "Hawk of Gold" about limiting my journey to things that be. And then the globe was the Earth, with the blue ocean; and the Seal fell from my head. But I caught it in my right hand. And I understood. There will be no "help". The explanation—which is the link—has been given (fence = fold); the advice as to behavior (live up to Thelema's teachings) has been given. The rest is with me. I am strictly on my own. Am I not a Star? So now, 10.05 pm, I shall anoint the Seal in silence. Note: FOLD = 110, really: 11 x 10, or: the Manifestation in the Kingdom of the Positive Element.[5]
1—A Brazilian type of very strong rum. The "herbs" was cannabis americana. 2—Cf. AL iii 39. 3—The Seer's physical sister, not a magickal one at all. 4—Cf. John St. John, the 10th Day. 5—This interpretation, of course, like CCXXXI itself (although the Book is in Class A), is only true up to Adeptus Exemptus.
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