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Wednesday, 24 November 1920
On the 24th he [Crowley] wrote: "I have been revising the Comment on Liber Legis with aid of Alostrael [Leah Hirsig], Iacchaion [C.F. Russell] and Estai [Jane Wolfe]—Cap II with Iacchaion only. I cannot express myself adequately about my sense of failure in this comment. More, I feel that I have not conquered my repulsion to Chapter III. I ask myself too: have I ever tried to carry out the instructions in that chapter? I am utterly wretched about the whole matter. I say: have I not failed absolutely to obey the 'Heavenly Vision'? I am so miserable that I can only see one course of action: to "ask the YI to give a General Symbol for my past work in relation to the Book of the Law."
Then comes erection and interpretation of one hex (Kwi Mih, his #54, my #53) and another (Tui, his #58, my #37). His big mistake was superstitiously to rely on oracles rather than with his own genius solving his problems. In the end he got so caecal he scarcely took a shit without asking the YI how it was going to come out! Yet later he could write about me—"He has no sense of proportion, and so mixes the planes that he attaches real importance to the number of handfuls of dirt he finds in his hovel, instead of using them as a mathematician uses 4 in the course of an equation as useful means of aiding the reason to attain a rational result without implication of a Fourth Dimension in fact".
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