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Monday, 18 July 1921
An XVII Sol in Cancer Die Lunae July 18, 1921, E.V.
7:46 p.m. I,
Had to shi[f]t, driftwood and debris out of the hut; to keep mentally active I counted 273 handfuls of dirt and 219 small stones which I threw out. I wasn't searching for saprophytic spiritualistic phenomena—no intent to become a passive medium for Satan, Lucifer or other Evil Kings or Princes who can creep in [if] you don't watch out.
Alcohol and drugs crack up the vital and astral vehicles—your wits leak out—murmuring imps slither in. Measure, number and weight are themselves Ahrimanic enough, both Crowley and Jones [Charles Stansfeld Jones] fiddled in this field too much to find fault with me for this, my motive was not to beget quaint Qabalah but to retain self-possession and self-control!
To top the Altar in the East I brought a slab from outside (tzu ah &)—93 building blocks. There I placed three Holy Books of ΘEΛHMA, copy of CTΛHΕ, my magical knife and Greek Zodiacal Cross made for my by Acrtaeon [Charles Stansfeld Jones]. I have Exempt Adept's Robe from Therion, pen-holder, 11 pens, 2 bottles of ink, jacknife, gold watch [given] to me by Beauty [Ninette Shumway], box of matches, 7 pencils, 1 cap, a pair of sandals, socks, trousers, shirt, underwear, belt and sacculus niger. Interea, pleno cum turget sacculus ore. (Juv. 14, 139)
8 p.m.—P. R. (Pentagram Ritual)
evoking 4 Elements to aid and guard me in this Work of
Art—enomati
A∴A∴
goofed in
8:31. — In this retirement human help is not sought but will not be refused if freely offered. I will not descend the Rock for food at any time before sunset of Sunday next.
8:46. — Neither will I descend the Rock for water to quench my thirst. Does shaving make you thirsty, Alys [Crowley] darling? (see 873 of the Con), I don't remember any oath not to let water touch my face! In a century or two the Shaving of Shagpat will be eclipsed by this barbarous myth of Genesthai and the barber you began at the Villa Santa Barbara! "If water is brought to me I will accept it with thanks. (Dig infra).
8:50. — made R. C.
11:18 p.m. — Invoked by Tu Qui Es
oration and other procedure. (This untwisted tale is not a
text-book—try to repeat it in person at your own risk!)
Crowley manufactured plenty of disturbances with his
Abramelin experiments compared with which my personality
clashes at the Abbey [Abbey of Thelema]
are like April showers to start Spring smiling (Diary Des 12
6:15 p.m.) and I was making whoopee lately with was, blood
and wild entities! Unquestionably my chosen motto means more
to me than the Fraternity. But one does not care to
sacrifice either to the other. Data to date show my Word has
the greater scope. Must blaze a trail in line with
prescribed discipline to harmonise current conflicts without
revoking my Oath. Let us survey the subject from all sides
walking widdershins around the mulberry bush. By
CCXX a God may live in a dog—no dictum there about monkeys or
Apes. 666 wrote me (Aug 30, 1919) "The only pitfall that is
really fatal is a woman". He ought to know, having fallen in
and out of plenty of prick-pits. But why shake a finger at
me? Can't I cut a caper or two or must Alys gayly get it
all? As a Magus he must speak but me thinks his protests too
often ignore the Fourth Power of the Sphinx. Shall I
suppress all criticism as an initiatory exercise? My
attention is called to the Black Bag—of course—residue of
the lower self scums us all! His intolerance of Arctaeon's
lucubrations does not skim the foul, filthy film from the
surface of the nauseous, liquid night-soil he himself
deposits. Let's lime both limeys says this "drunken American
sailor"! My interpretation of Thelema can absolve all their
sins as well as mine—may I also meet a sense of humor that
matches my own! At midday no stars are apparent in the
sky—look up, then hide your face quickly—or else wear dark
glasses—can he get along without drugs—does he want to is a
better question—CCXX provides alibis here and outs for all
failures "They that see thee shall fear thou art fallen, but
I lift thee up". Dec 12 diary flays me! OK let's grab the
wire whip and reciprocate some flagellation, let the woman
be girt with a sword (III. 11) Continuo sontes ultrix,
accincta flagello. (Virg. Aen. 6,570) Anyway, my immediate
business is to penetrate the heart of the shining
12 midnight—compose myself and sleep—more light domani!
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quarter—inadvertently omitting AL & ALHIM TzABVTh but
inserted it before closing. By the Oracle, I, 17, have other
job than to establish Law of Thelema.
Sign on a beetle and tossed it out the western (of course)
window. Here we begin the interpretation of every event as a
particular dealing of God with the Soul.