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Thursday, 21 July 1921
FOURTH DAY. July 21, 1921.
8:30 a.m. Ador.[ation]—just as S------ [Ninette Shumway] arrived. Three bottles of water, 6 croquets of bread, pasta, quinine; cute kid—oh well (watch out for sirens—wonder what Glyndon would do with this cunt?)
6:30. P. R. [Pentagram Ritual] and E.
7:08. Slept well last night—she awakened me standing in the doorway—faithful and loyal—even though foolish enough to climb way up here—deserves all a woman may earn. Should have told her not to—leaving this loophole leaves me up in the air—too late now! No right to torture her by hiding. The joke is on me—it seems I can't help fulfilling my motto—"Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law" is an off-shoot and I am on that particular branch of the Tree of Life. Long essay on this in last vol of my diary. Let's go over again life's course to get answer to some riddles. Sudden illumination! (I spelled it out—no asterisks!) Introspective verbosity gives no glimpse of the truth. If you insist on casting pearls before swine be not angry when they trample them into their beloved mire. Fighting an opponent with his own weapons is neither honorable nor good manners—it is ridiculous! Thelema is both True and False—true for the King—false for the slave. Honor is not involved in an obligation. The Chakkral pain grew worse as I shaped the stick. You can't break a real oath, you must cut it, by Gordius, the knots were positively indecent—one evidently DAATH! So the Infernal Rite must be accomplished.
12:16 p.m. "Sun" P. R. Some Qabalistic calculations.
1:45. Got it and 1:57 began to eat it.
2:06. Invoked Thoum-aesh-neith to help—no soap.
2:24. Michael indifferent too—"Amri maratza atman deona lastadza maritza maran"!
2:34. Busily chewing on the "eye".
3:00. Ah! Ah! Death! Death!
3:08. Wood pile is shaped like a crocodile. Took another piece to chew wounding his front right foot. Can't juggle my way out of this one!
3:55. "This is the world of the waters of Maim, this is the bitter water that becometh sweet". What name—this tree?
4:21. Writing name of this Book on front cover.
7:26. "Sunset".
8:55. "Luna" "Hail unto Thee, Lady of Night—O Silver Moon of My Delight"!
11:48. Mass of Phoenix.
12 midnight. "Kephra".
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