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Friday, 22 July 1921
FIFTH DAY.
5:01 a.m. "Sunrise".
5:39. Eating again—old wand i.e. Qabalistic calculations to keep me alert.
10:30. Ah, if I could only make paper out of my excreta on which to write a song to Adonai. This stuff is the first matter—has pasta beaten by sixty-five leagues; I am going down from this Rock with fat on me like a Dutchman. Would write faster, o my beloved, but movement of the pen tends to slacken motion of the jaws. Verily, thou art ceaseless Becoming-every chew is a love nip out of Thy Beautiful Body.
10:40 a.m. Adonai, shall I scrape these Holy Walls for lime to calcine from these bits of the old Tree an hydroxide, perfume it with the offal of that black sheep now so meek and humble, that Thou mayest have sweet scented soap for thy bath? I am thy beloved Apep, o thou crocodile maiden I devour with seventy kisses every minute.
10:52. When I would seize the pen to decorate this sacred volume with thy litany, it leaped from my hand upon thine enemy to help me destroy him, but I restrained it, o my darling, grasping it more firmly, for I am jealous of this fruit that pleaseth thee. I am fast waxing sentimental in this hog-wash.
11:00-1/2 a.m. O Pan, the Miller teach me how to grind this consecrated grist. Let us float down the stream of stars leaving a morsel of Satan's beeswax on each tree of eternity.
11:12. Satan must have been the Demon Prince least worth cursing, O Beloved, let's summon another Hellish Monarch to share our delight, my Bittersweet!
11:23. Let's replace the N O X signs with R A T, in Reality more meaningful.
11:30. Heavens grow brighter. Don't approach too closely in that one-wheeled chariot, else I crunch another tidbit in these thrice heated jaws for joy.
11:36. Sap of the world ash, wonder tree—this right sweet meat is jucier and more piquant in flavor than the most voluptuous vesical flower.
11:43. Desisted from eating for a while—too rich and intoxicating!
12:00 noon. "Ahathoor" P. R. [Pentagram Ritual] and E.
12:27. Another gob. Pride watches at each of the four gates to one Palace—don't let him see you or you'll never pass by. Damn it, how to make a record without lapsing into all those "John St. John-ian" breaks? Adonai says remedy is "write nothing" La!
1:13. O. Adonai, thou art a mouse and I am a cat, I shall worry thee as long as I will but in the end I must obey thy command to eat thee!
1:22. XII Sign is not humble enough even lying on ones back. So ravish away my pride like a hymen, 'tis only a cobweb of vanity that holds us apart!
1:33. The Word is E A T. The Sperm of the Sun is mixed with Seed of the Sun behind the Sun, to make an homunculus, a star-child, offspring for devouring. (Note: all this nonsense proves you can't express the inexpressible but prevents getting lost in an ecstasy of super-consciousness).
1:39. Oh, Adonai, teach me to think since thoughts are directly linked to the spiritual sphere—not to banish but to purify them—so they can unite with thee.
1:52. He did! Great effort had to be made not to be overcome by the trance—had to concentrate on the chewing, rather than bother to do too much at once.
2:05. Highest aspiration seen as nothing from below. (Now comes a splendid piece of language conveying absolutely no intelligible idea)
3:10. The upright is to give up the will to Him; the averse is to sacrifice the will to U, for thus WE conceal IT.
4:13. Tiny winged beetles of no known or unknown species appear miraculously crawling round and round in the cakes of light.
4:30. R[a] H[oor] K[huit]'s perfume in Temple. (A fact!)
4:49. A few fatalistic signals.
4:56. Don't let good judgment be upset by miracles!
5:33. The creatures avoid the Greek Cross. More Power then to Arctaeon [Charles Stansfeld Jones]! Easy to distinguish those of Belzebub from those sacred to R. H. K.
5:48. Winding watch. No need to eat the Cross. At least not while I am eating This! Ha ha—it is to laugh!
8:07. Left with robe, they need it down there, up here I have no further need for it—or its fleas!
9:40. "Luna".
12 midnight. P. R. and Eu—cap on.
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