Wilfred Talbot Smith Diary Entry

Monday, 24 December 1917

K. [Katherine Talbot] began to be in real trouble at about 1.30, and J. [Charles Stansfeld Jones] with me went for Dr. Martin. I must again, say, that symbolism was being continually found in conversation and events the whole of this time. In fact the very quantity of it is the bar to remembering any of it. I know for a long time he fully expected A.C. to arrive to welcome the infant. He was quite sure the doctor was taking his place, and was Hermes.

I should have said that, before we fetched the doctor, J. and I went through a part of the third degree holding her hands. Expected the infant to arrive on the spot without any trouble.

From the doctors arrival till the infant came at 5.38.40 nearly the whole time, J. sat with the Sepher Sepheroth reading off the meanings of the numbers as the minutes ticked by. When the doctor came out of the bedroom for a minute at four o'clock, J. said to him, in spite of me trying to persuade him not to, "that it was bound to arrive at 4.18 and the war would be stopped if it did." The Dr. was sceptical and said his calculations were out.

J. finally went to bed at 6.30 am, at least I should say lay on my bed with his clothes on. He got up about 9.00 o'clock and decided not to go to work as I had a weeks holiday due me I decided to start it then too.

He told me after breakfast that he has made 3 VII°, 3 IX° and 3 XI° during this initiation. He talked a long time to me about the VII˚, and though at the time it was very interesting and illuminating, I can remember almost nothing now, he spoke so rapidly and so incessantly. One certainly gets a reflection of his illumination at these times, and things that one would not in the least understand at another time appear quite lucid and comprehensible. I think too, some of the things one has been told, come back to ones mind a long time afterwards when the time is ripe, and are then understood by being fitted, so to speak with some other piece of knowledge acquired in the interval.

The things he says can be done with these secrets, reminds one of the rewards promised in "Shiva Sanhita." The things may be possible of course.

The J's left for home about noon and I went over town with them Mrs. J. [Rubina Stansfeld Jones] left us soon, and we did some shopping together he talk the whole time. One phase of the affair is, that at times he actually does not know who of several characters he is, though of course he appears the same to me. A title he has taken like "Parzival," seems to become to him a real personality, his own. And yet, though all this might appear like insanity, there is this big difference, that he is studying his own case and remarks often on the peculiarity of this or that phase, when it is actually upon him.

We had a long talk in a White Lunch; he gave me some explanation of the I.H.V.H. formular, and referred to a letter from A.C. which had some explanation of it in pencil on the outside of the envelope; I remembered the letter as he asked me at the time if I could make anything of the hieroglyphics. It was here too we discouvered that I was Judas; previously, by the way, it had been discouvered I was Joseph, and on my demand for an explanation, he found it readily enough, as always. The explanation was quite lucid to me then, being half-illuminated myself. There was some statement of J.C. trying to work the formular on Joseph who was disguised as Judas to get out of the business; or something like it.

He wired A.C. that Horus was born and that he was to come and see. Of course the price of the wire was symbolical like nearly every thing else. We also went and bought some Christmas presents, and then parted company J wanted to get home, he was tired out after being up all night at my place, and also as he told me later, he had hardly slept for several nights.

From this point till Dec 27th at about 10.30 am, I heard nothing more of J. It was at this time his wife arrive at this house in a frantic state and in tears. She had hoped to find him with us. She then told us that he had left the house about 8 pm last night and not been back since. Apparently the initiation had been going on ever since he had left here, until it had nearly driven her silly. She said he had been "rolling of magical stuff ever since" getting up in the middle of the night to do things and trying to get her to assist. One night, she said, he dragged her down to the cellar, so to speak, went through a ritual and invoked annihilation. (But I am of the opinion this occurred before I saw him last; on the 22nd I believe. I should have said before, that one night at about 1.30 I awoke, due to what I took to be an earthquake, though of a peculiar kind, as I could not make out if the house, the bed or only myself were shaking; I felt my heart to see if that was going fast but found it to be alright. Mentioning this to J. the next morning, he told me that at about that time he had pronounced a certain word, I think he said to destroy the universe, any how he attributed what I felt to the uttering of this word. I could find no one else who had felt any earthquake, though I asked several people.)

She went on to tell us that he went to the office on Wednesday at least for a part of the day, and had fooled Terry about and given him a bit of a dressing down, also Grant. (These two were the heads of his particular office.) He told me later in regard to this, that he had thought it advisable to excuse himself to Terry for being away from the office on Monday, saying he was with a friend in child birth. Terry was a bit rude, and J gave him a bit of a talking to. He took off the afternoon afterwards.

I should say here that the fooling of Terry (J. told me later) consisted of writing 418 on a bit of paper and sending the office boy with it to Terry, and telling him to say that that was the solution of all his troubles; and other things of a like nature.

She further went on to tell us that he had been quite often to "The Bungalow" ( a tea room) to see a Mrs. Sinclair, whom he suggested was an incarnation of Blavatsky [Helena Petrovna Blavatsky]; that to quite an extent he ruled his actions by instructions given him by herself and Dede [Deirdre Stansfeld Jones], his little daughter, that he had asked for. She had asked me if there were any letters and he told her the box was locked; she took it to be a way of avoiding a proper answer as the box was always locked (but later he told me that he had been unable to open it for some reason, This box he took to be the Eye of Shiva and that had it been opened the railway bridge to Kitsalino would have been destroyed, as there was some connection between them.)

Finally on Wednesday the 26th she was thoroughly tired of the whole affair and got very cross with him and while sitting by the fire at 8.00 pm, on his again saying the off repeated “I and my Father are one,” she had said “Well go and be one with him,” whereupon he promptly rose put on his hat and coat, crossed the room and took his copy of the Stelé [Stélé of Revealing] off the wall, then bowing to her back and front went out; since which moment she had not seen him.

She had practically been up all night, one of her main cares being to keep the fires going which she felt on no account must go out. (This almost amounted to a dread and lasted all the time he was away.) She had as soon as possible the next morning got Olive to stay with the child and hastened over to us.

I went over town with her at once, phoned a man at the office to see if any information was to be got there; but they just thought J. was taking a holiday. We then went and interviewed Mrs. Sinclair. She rambled much in the way people do who think they know a lot about Occultism and Mysticism, particularly ladys. she had much of his being her pet lamb, and delicately hinted that his only want had been to copulate with her, but that she having long ago put away from all fleshly deeds and thoughts would not consent. Actually she looked all flesh, and as if she thought of little else. After some while he vagguely said she thought he had gone to Victoria to Lazenby [Charles Lazenby].

When we left her, Mrs J. to go home to see of he had returned and I to send a wire to Lazenby. ( I should say here that, part of the conversation with Mrs S. was after I had sent the wire and not when Mrs J. was there; I had forgoton for the moment.)

I went out to his home but he had not returned, on my return to see if there was an answer to the wire, they informed me that the storms which had been raging for the past few days close around Vancouver (it had not touched Vanc.) had cut off communications with Vic[toria] and other places, and that there was no telling when we would get an answer. (Let me note here that, this storm was of an uncommon nature, high winds and heavy rains which froze six inches thick on the wires breaking off the telegraph at the ground with the weight in many case, and many trees in like manner were destroyed. It is noteworthy that in June 1916 on the occasion of J’s other experience, communication was for a time entirely cut off to New York from which point he was anxious to hear.)

I forgot to mention that our first call on coming over to town had been to the famous Box 70 at the P.O. and strange to say I could not get my key to unlock the box. She then remembered J’s statement about it. As it could not be opened I informed an official and on repassing the box, being puzzled I tried it again and the lock that hardly a minute before would not turn, turned easily enough. There was only a letter for Mrs J and a small parcel for the child.

I went over each day to see if he had returned and stayed with her a while; we received no answer to our wire. Monday 31st while at breakfast a message came from across the road to phone up the J’s, which I hastened to do; I was informed that J. and his wife were down town together. I prepared to go over town, but just on the point of leaving the house they both turned up.

(From this point on these notes will be more disjointed than ever, and wont be in sequence, as they were told to me by J. at different times days and weeks after they occurred, and no notes were made during his narations.)

He said he had been in Victoria all the time for three days in prison, where he had been placed as the authorities thought he was trying to evade conscription, and also I think because he had been behaving rather strangely at the hotel.

He apparently went to the “King Edward” [Hotel] saying he wanted to see the King with whome he had made an appointment for an audience. He had wandered through many of the rooms looking for him or some one else, causing some little annoyance to some of the inmates; he met however with better reception in one where he spent a pleasant hour or two. He was later introduced to two men with the remark “These are the men you are looking for” he evidently thought so too for he quietly went along with them to prison.

In going over on the boat to Victoria he met with a man whome he says talked Rosy Cross degree all the time. He sat on the Stele in the smoke room most of the time with his thumb in his mouth, and took the noise of the steam radiator for the “War Engine,” mentioned in the B. of L. [Book of the Law], there he met a man who was all the night making notes, and said he was doing the whole thing. He said he was on the Astral most of the way over though at times he was in an aeroplane.

Also that he was taking the storm from Vancouver and that his wife and child had been killed by it. On many occasions he took his life in his hands, as much as if, as one normally understands, he had risked it; for instance he was absolutely certain the bridge afore mentioned was going to be destroyed and even I believe went to see the manager of the Company to whome it belonged; and yet he crossed it feeling he would go down with it. In his state of mind the certainty was absolute in regard to the events he thought were going to take place, were taking place or had taken place in the light of the interpretation he put upon them.

He was put in prison with a general riffraff of Chinamen and Whitemen the latter taking a keen delight in teasing him, all of which he took in good part and turned to good account. All their movements about the cells being ordered by him in his endeavour to balance things, which assumed such large proportion as the whole Universe. One of his main objects being to centralize the light, which was the one electric light in the cell, upon which he had concentrated for some time. This he eventually did in the centre of his chest. He described the agony as acute in his endeavours to get the men located in the right place to get this balance. He talked about the Tao to the Chinese who thought him a fine fellow.

At one time he traveld to the war of the roses and right back through time to the beginning of things several times, not unlike the unwinding back and forth of a cinemetograph film. He also concentrated upon the iron bar of the cell till it fused. Later he was put in a cell by himself, after a doctor had paid him a visit or a detective. Here for a time he was howling mad and a devil of a fight with demons ensued of a hair raising nature.

At some time of his stay he was subjected to the 3˚ as they call it. Finally regaining normal consciousness he discovered he was actually in a prison, and after some explanation to the doctor he managed to get out.

He located Lazenby who introduced him at a Theosophical meeting as, a great Occultist of a powerful society, to which the audience he gave a lecture in his then unwashed, untidy condition after prison life for three days.

I might mention that previous to his trip to Victoria or his visit to us at the beginning of the initiation, he had a great scheme to get A. C. the throne of E[ngland]. to which he was the rightful claimant. The idea was big, but as he remarked in one of his self-critical moments, one might as well dwell on big ideas, as little.

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