Meredith Starr Diary Entry

Friday, 19 August 1910

11.15. Just returned. Went to see "Sir Walter Raleigh". It was splendid. Everything is becoming symbolic to me. The following are thoughts aroused by the play.

As we advance along the Path, as we derive knowledge from experience. . . . and express more and more of our Higher Self, the petty personality (the man, as opposed to the King) has to be sacrificed to greater interests. The true bridegroom of a great Queen is her kingdom. Arguing along these lines, the true bride of (a) God would be his universe. Something akin to this idea must be at the back of the assertion that "Love is Everything"—"Love is the Wheel of the Universe"—etc. etc.

In this herein is also contained the meaning of Mathers Arnold (?)'s line "There is in man a vast loneliness, ungauged, unspanned". This loneliness is (1) the extinction of the part in the whole. (2) the Infinite Hunger of the Soul. (3)It is a loneliness which is resolved into its opposite—a great Love. Someone writes "To the true man love is the greatest grandest asceticism the world can produce." Of course it must be so. . . . for a great love annihilates itself in the process of becoming great.

After I left the theatre I went and lay down; far away from everything, on the common, with my face upturned to the stars. Why did I do this? Because I felt like it. For 1/2 an hour I strove to drink in my soul their majesty. . . . and their deep eternal calm. Also I opened my mind to the vastness of space, and the silence of the still night. "How still the stars that watch above!"

Under the stars, in silence and alone, will I go forth, O my brothers. I will travel across desolate distances and weary wastes. In solitude will I seek my God. By sea and land, by mountain and valley will I go, through untrodden regions and pathless tracts. And I shall not rest until I have found Him. There, when the consummation is accomplished, when I have seen Him face to face, will I return and make you partakers in my joy. Until then, O my brothers, farewell. In a little while I will return, and there will be great rejoicing in the old grey land. There will be much music and gay dancing; for he that was lost will be found.

Then shall ye laugh and sing for very joy; then shall ye weep in an ecstasy of bliss. For your light will shine with its ancient splendour, and your soul shall be at peace with the stars. For a little while then, O my brothers, farewell.

It is now 12.38. I have been writing for 1 hour and 23 minutes. To bed!

Here endeth the first Book of the

Record of S∴S∴

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