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7:58 - 8:18 |
[1]
[2] |
PRANAYAMA
4-8-8-4. Difficult this
morning, possibly too near the breakfast hour.
Have discovered my attitude
toward this Abbey is as a stepping place for the
night with a moving on in the morning. Why? Because
of the extreme contrast of my former life? I do not
mean physical but emotional. The pleasurable
contacts of the Studio and home circle, the clasped
hand, the linked arm, the embrace of friend and
friend, cheek against cheek of one more dear, the
outpourings and inbreathings of a happy affectional
life. I always thought these human contacts
necessary for balance. Is this part of the
crucifixion of Self. Much can be gained by mastering
an empty stomach. I am in darkness, I cannot see
ahead. However, the dark is always interesting!
Training of the Mind, in part,
by Bennett [Frank Bennett].
Short nap.
EQUINOX V.
Why this horrible difficulty
with the physical?
First, 1 day of bleeding piles,
at least what I think this, never before having had
the same experience, I cannot speak with certainty;
then soreness of muscles which I attributed to
swimming. Now head upset, stomach calling attention
to itself, painful to pull myself together after
lying down? Intestines moving, so it cannot be
poison from that source. I feel sore from centre to
circumference. |
|
10:35 - 45 |
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PRANAYAMA, which I doubt did
any good. Conscious of body at every step.
Sicilians, 5, about 300 feet from me have been
shouting and shrieking all morning, beating two
trees with long sticks. Head aching. For two days
emotional has been thundering away at my doors. Am I
beginning to feel sorry for myself! |
|
11:19 - 30 |
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DHARANA, yellow square.
Somewhat distasteful at the
start, but cannot be compared with distaste of
yesterday. Found myself speculating concerning upset
condition, deciding it was a result of swallowing
heaps of salt water. |
|
11:37 - 12:00 |
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HARPOCRATES.
Fight to continue with this.
Finally overcame this, got as far as babe and shell.
However, Elasticity for the first became a part of
me, I mean, the seed planted. Also thoughts about
ices and ice water. |