A.M.

^[1]

After first sleep of exhaustion, waked, near 3 and slept not till almost six, when I fell asleep to dream I was seated in a large dining hall, at a small table against the wall. A man came to my table, taking chair opposite me, piling papers and cap against wall. I was surprised as the room was empty and I looked enquiringly at the head-waiter. He paid no attention. The seated man suddenly had a friend by his side and this man he placed at the end of the table, facing the wall. I rose & picking up my dishes said sarcastically: ‘Gentlemen permit me to present you the only table in the room’ (Not exact words but something to that effect). Catching eye of headwaiter directed at first man with a knowing smile, I turned back and hurled my dishes squarely in the middle of the table smashing everything in sight. They looked blank amazement and incredulity. I laughed.

7:30 - 8:00

ASANA.

8:00 - 8:20

DHARANA, yellow sq.

Same story.

I am tired.

10:00

At 9:30 prepared for beach but could not find boys any place. Returned to house and took ‘World's Tragedy’ and came to hill. I need enlightenment on ‘perversion’—a something abhorrent when viewed from the personal standpoint.

Where do I belong? I want mental stimulation—not physical. Thank heaven neither dirty literature nor obscene pictures stir me: I can read the one and look at the other when artistic and of merit. But how is the mental approached?

10:42 - 57

PRANAYAMA. 4-8-8-4

P.M.

Found Lea [Leah Hirsig] home on my return.

10:37

ASANA.

In the saddle once more. Did not need to visualize to keep body alert.

10:57 - 11:20

DHARANA, yellow sq.

To-day longed for mental marriage, furrows ploughed deep in this mind of mine. Behold, a little honeymoon to-night and the landscape seems more fair.

(Query: Am I an hermaphrodite!)

HARPOCRATES.

Invocation.